My selfdestructive mind
by Lokun
Summary: When JD's daydreams turns to nightmares, and his narrating voice is getting out of control, he starts questioning his sanity. What can he do when his own mind becomes his worst enemy. Rated T for mild language and blood.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note:** This is just an idea to a story that has been bugging me for a while. So I wrote it down! :D If it's good or not, I can't tell. So I need you to tell me. Are there any miss-spellings or grammar mistakes? Ideas how to make the text or the story better? Any kind of contructive criticism is highly appreciated!  
I currently have several other projects going on, which means that I might not pay so much attention to this story... I might forget it. 0-0  
So if anyone would like me to put up more chapters, then just ask and I will do so. ^^

**Note: **_Italics_ = JD's thoughts.

***

JD opened his eyes and was suddenly standing on the hospital's roof.

_How on earth did I get here?__ I don't remember going up for any stairs? _

JD looked around with a puzzled expression.

_Actually, I don't remember much at all…!_

He spun around on the spot with a slowly growing feeling of panic. He then stopped and took a deep breath.

_Ok JD, calm down. You're suffering fr__om a blackout. Try to remember the last place you were and… _

JD narrowed his eyes and looked even more confused.

… _and what time it was…_

JD found his wrist watch and quickly checked it.

_Alright, it's 3 pm now, and the last thing I remember was when I…_

He scratched his head and looked slightly worried.

_I was talking with Turk at the nurse station… No. At the cafeteria! But that must have been at lunch…?! I can't have lost 3 hours! No wait, I remember talking with… somebody in the hallway at 1 pm… I don't remember who it was, but I think that we were discussing the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie._

JD smiled at the memory.

_Jack Sparrow is such a __goof.__ I think he's a little bit like me__. I know that I would be an awesome pirate.__ Someone should definitely make a pirate movie based on Sacred Heart._

JD starts daydreaming about a ship called "The Sacred Heart" with a wooden figure of Bob Kelso in the front, instead of a maiden. JD was standing on the plank in a simple pirate clothing with his hands tied behind his back.

Cox, dressed in typical pirate captain cloths with an eye patch, was standing on the deck, leaning on his sword.

"You are ne-hever getting out of this alive, Seadog Dorian." Cox exclaimed. " I'm gonna watch these sharks feed on you like kids fighting over a lollipop, and then laugh the whole way to Tortuga where I'll retell this hilarious story to every women and crook that still have ears to listen with."

"Don't I get a last wish?" JD asked curiously.

A roar was heard and a furious looking Carla, also dressed as pirate, swung down to the deck in a very cool way.

"Walk the plank, ya dog!" Carla said in a mix of street slang and pirate talk. "Ya'll pay for your crime with your dear life!"

"Crime? But I thought we were pirates?" JD said and raised an eyebrow. "We _are_ criminals."

"Well…" Carla looked like normal and shrugged. "Someone took the last pin apple, so..."

"Hey! Are you making me walk the plank for stealing _fruit_!?" JD asked upset.

"Don't be daft, Newbie. Of course not!" Cox said in annoyance. "We're making you walk the plank because you were _lying_ about stealing fruit."

"I haven't been stealing any fruit!" JD said furiously!

"See, that's why you're standing there." Cox simply explained. "Liars don't belong on the sea."

"But we are pirates! We're _supposed_ to steal, drink and lie!"

"That's only in song lyrics, dumbass." Cox said irritated. "For god's sake, Anne Bonny. You _never_ lie to the _captain_. It's stupid and will most certainly get you killed."

"But I promise you that I have never stolen a pin apple! I'm not lying!" JD desperately tried to explain.

"Can you prove it?" Cox asked suspiciously.

"Look at Turk! He's eating one right now!" JD said angrily and noded at Turk's direction.

Turk looked up from a half eaten pin apple.

"That doesn't prove anything." Cox simply stated.

"What?!" JD screamed out loud.

"Sorry JD…" Turk apologized and shrugged.

"Oh yeah? Well, it's good for you that you at least have a pin apple, Turk. Because you don't have a friend anymore!" JD yelled and turned his back to Turk, looking very offended.

"Ok, come on Newbie. I don't have all day." Cox said and pointed his sable at JD's back. "I can't let the ship wait just because you're gonna act like a stubborn five year old. Jump in."

"JD! Jump in!" Elliott called cheerfully and waved to him from the water, dressed as a mermaid. "It's the frickin Caribbean! The water is great!"

JD suddenly looked very interested and took a few steps on the plank towards Elliott the mermaid.

"Dude! What the hell are you doing!" Turk screamed in horror.

"I'm not even talking to you, Turk! Leave me alone!" JD yelled and took another step…

Suddenly the picture disappeared and JD was now standing on the very edge of the hospital's roof.

In a split second it looked like he was going to fall, but two pairs of arms quickly wrapped around him and dragged him backwards and soon he lied in a pile of limbs and bodies.

Turk sat up looking pissed and frightened. Todd got up too, but JD was still lying on the ground and couldn't stop shaking.

"Dude, what the hell!" Turk said. "You were about to step down from the god damn roof! What the heck were you doing!"

"He… Help…" JD stammered. Turk and Todd grabbed one arm each and helped JD to his feet.

"What the hell, JD!" Turk said again, still looking angry. "If Todd and I hadn't followed you up here, you would have been a puddle of blood and bones on the sidewalk right now!"

"Yeah, rescue five!" Todd exclaimed proudly.

"Todd! There's nothing to high five!" Turk said irritably.

"Inappropriate five-five…?" Todd asked carefully.

Turk ignored him.

"JD, what were you doing up here anyway?" Turk asked, a bit calmer.

"I-don't-know-why-were-you-following-me? JD quickly rattled off with a suspicious look at them both.

_What are you doing! He's your friend. He was worried about you, and he just saved your life! Don't be rude! _

"Dude, I haven't seen you since lunch, and I was looking for you." Turk explained with a serious look. "Laverne said that she just saw you heading to the roof and that you didn't seem to feel very well. So, I brought the Todd and we find you standing on the edge to become mash!"

"I'm fine." JD answered and shook his head.

"I'm not buying that until you can explain what you were doing up here." Turk stated with an "and I mean it"-look.

JD shifted a little, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"I… I was just… I thought that I needed some fresh air. And then I come to think of that soda commercial, you know? Where a guy is standing on top of a mountain, catching a falling can from the sky and then screaming his lungs out in ecstasy while the winds is blowing in his face and his hair? Well… I thought that looked kinda cool, so I just wanted to try it… "

_See! Know you did it again! You're lying to your best friend! Is that a way to thank him? You __lousy, pathetic liar... _

JD closed his eyes in aggravation.

_Shut up. Whatever it is that's saying that, just SHUT UP!_

"Dude, don't do it again." Turk said seriously. "No offense bro, but your balance isn't trustworthy. And by the way, that commercial is filmed in a studio. That guy isn't standing on a real mountain, and he's definitely wearing safety ropes."

"Really?" JD said honestly surprised. "But it looks so real!"

"I know!" Turk said excited. "It's so hard to believe!"

Turk's beeper goes off and he takes a quick look.

"Damn it! I forgot that I have a surgery!" Turk said and turned around. "Ok, take it cool buddy! And don't go and test your balance again!"

"Promise C-bear!" JD happily answered as Todd and Turk quickly disappeared down the stairs.

JD was frozen to the ground and then slowly started to tremble again.

_I'm a bit worried over my behavior today… __It kinda feels like my thoughts and daydreams are getting out of control, or something..._

JD shivered a little, but tried to straighten himself up.

_Well, __I should probably try to find out where I've been these last hours. I still can't explain this blackout, but something keeps telling me that everything is fine. That there's nothing I should worry about, and that I should keep on like normal._

_Whatever this is, it's definitely starting to creep me out. _

***


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** Four reviews in one day? That's four more than I expected to get in a week! 0.0 And no one seems to hate it so far... I love you guys! =D  
So, this is a very quick and short update. Not a big part of the story, I'm sorry. It is just needed to give you an idea of what JD's friends is thinking and doing at the moment. You could probably considering skipping it. Next chapter is much better! I promise! And I will most likely put it up tomorrow.

**Note:** I now remembered that I haven't mentioned in what season this story takes place in. Well, frankly I don't know for sure. But this is how things are:  
Carla and Turk are married, but have no children.  
JD and Elliott are not together, just friends.  
JD is living with Turk.  
Cox and Jordan got one kid, Jack (but since neither Jordan, nor her relationship with Cox is gonna show up in this story, this isn't really anything important).

**Second Note:** And, as I also forgot to mention in the last chapter, I do not own, neither do I seek to own, this show or it's characters. I'm merely... borrowing them. Without permission... But it's only for funzies. ^^  
(so please don't sue me! I need my money for food and warm clothes! ó.ò)

***

Turk was walking down the hallway. He had just finished a surgery and now stopped by the nurse station where Carla was sorting some files.

"Hey baby." Carla greeted and quickly looked up from her work. "How was the surgery?"

"Carla, did you see JD pass the nurse station about one hour ago?" Turk asked with an uncertain look on his face.

"I'm not sure…" Carla said and received a new chart from a passing doctor, obviously a bit busy. "I think so. Why?"

"Do you remember if it was… Anything unusual with him at that time?"

"What do you mean with "unusual"?" Carla asked slightly annoyed. "JD is JD. You got to be way more specific than that."

Turk sighed and looked around to make sure that no one else was listening.

"Todd and I found him on the roof a while ago, and he were just seconds away from stepping right out in the thin air."

Carla abruptly froze and simply stared at Turk, like if he just had told her that he was pregnant. She leaned closer to him, looking shocked.

"What!?" Carla whispered.

"Like I said." Turk said looking serious. "Todd and I managed to grab him just in time. Or else the Janitor would probably be mopping up the rest of him from the street right now."

"What was he doing on the roof?" Carla wanted to know.

"He said that he just wanted some fresh air, and that he was mimicking that soda commercial." Turk said and shrugged.

"What soda commercial?" Carla asked confused.

"Baby! You know which one I mean." Turk said accusingly, apparently very offended by his wife's obvious lack of knowledge. "That one where a guy is standing on top of a mountain."

"Turk, I'm not following commercials…" Carla says annoyed. "I use the time to do something useful instead."

"Hi guys!" Elliott greeted happily and stopped by the station. "What are you talking about?"

"JD."

"TV commercials."

Carla immediately glared at Turk who had answered "TV commercials", and Elliott looked slightly confused at them both.

"JD is in a TV commercial…?" She asked hesitantly.

"No." Carla replied with an annoyed look at Turk and then sighed. "JD was on the roof a while ago and almost fell."

"Oh my god! Is he okay?" Elliott asked in slight panic.

"He's fine." Turk answered calmly. "Todd and I got him before it become dangerous. But what I'm trying to say is…"

Turk paused in the middle of his sentence, apparently a bit unsure of how to put this.

"I just… It was something strange with him. You know what I'm saying?" Turk said. "Laverne saw him right before he went up there, and she said that she thought that he had looked sick or something…"

"Laverne, is that true?" Carla asked her college.

Laverne had been sorting files and clipboards in the other end of the station, just to look busy enough to be able to eavesdrop on the conversation without drawing too much attention to herself.

"That's what I said." Laverne simply answered. "The kid looked like he'd seen his granddad's ghost and then got punched in the face by it."

"I'm just saying…" Turk began hesitantly. "That I get the feeling that something is bothering him. And don't tell me to not listening to my guts about JD! I've known that guy half my life!"

"Oh, come on." Elliott laughed. "It's _JD_ we're talking about here. There isn't one day without him being troubled over something! Either it's the creepy Janitor that's been messing with him, or it is Cox that has come up with a new lousy nickname for him."

A short moment, everyone was simply staring at Elliott. But then an agreeable muttering is heard from each one of them.

"You know, I didn't think about that…"

"Of course that must be it."

"And I don't know about you guys." Elliott went on calmly. "But it wouldn't surprise me at all if JD nearly fell of the roof because of one of his goofy daydreams, and didn't pay attention to where he was walking."

Even more agreeable muttering from the others. But then Turk went quiet and scratched his head.

"Hold on a sec…" He said. "Does anyone know where JD is right n…"

Before Turk had a chance to finish his sentence, Elliott's beeper suddenly went of and she rushed away to a coding patient, and Carla got overwhelmed by new charts and clipboards and had to go back to work. Todd suddenly popped up and started to drag Turk away since Dr Wen just was about to hand out a liver transplantation and it's first in line that gets it.

The question was left unanswered.

***

**Author's Note:** Okay. As I said, next chapter is much better. It contains JD, creepy daydreams, blood, and Percival Cox! ;D  
Stay tuned...


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note:** _I'm so sorry for the delay, everyone. T^T I said that I would probably put up this chapter "tomorrow". And that was over two weeks ago! Really, the chapter was pretty much done. But for some reason, school work is considered much more important than writing stories. How can that be? School work is twice as boring...  
__Short explanation: Blame my school. That's what I do. And I had some problem with a ridiculously minor part of the story that I just couldn't figure out how to put on paper. And since there evidently are people who have liked this fic so far, I really want this chapter to be as good as the others... Which it, due to all the fuzz and stress, probably isn't. ^^_

**Another note:** _As everyone with an IQ higher than a goldfish know, I own nothing.  
__Except my life... Except my life. Except. My. Life!  
__(Yay for Hamlet quotes! =D)_

***

JD was standing in an examining room together with Doug, who looked just as nervous as ever. He had paged JD and desperately asked him for help with a patient, a man in his fifties who didn't look too pleased with the service so far.

_It was not the first time I had to help Doug with medical stuff and duties, and most likely not the last either. In one week he had prescribed heart medication to a woman (who had no heart condition what so ever, but on the other hand was five months pregnant), misdiagnosed flu for jaundice, and almost given three patients an overdose. I considered Doug a somewhat friend of mine and I felt that I ought to help him as much as I could._

JD looked down at the man's chart and then sighed.

"Doug, his chart clearly states that he has a _liver disease_. Why on earth were you trying to put him up on a heart transplantation list?"

"I got confused…" Doug said miserably, his eyes close to tears.

"Well, don't worry about it. It can happen to anyone." JD said and was just about to pat Doug reassuringly on the shoulder when he noticed the old man's IV and then took a quick look at the chart before he immediately retrieved his hand.

"Doug! Why are you giving this man steroids?!" JD yelled and quickly pulled the IV out.

"Why _not_ give him steroids…?" Doug hesitantly asked.

"What's wrong with this boy?" The man asked in annoyance.

"Don't worry Mr Roberts." JD said reassuringly. "It's just a minor mistake. Nothing dangerous."

JD then put his arm around Doug, as a symbol of proud.

"Doug here has _never_ failed anything before. It was meant to happen sooner or later, and now it has." JD smiled with a big grin. "There won't be any more mistakes from this buddy in the nearest future I can tell."

_I felt that I should stand up for Doug and don't be so hard on him. Maybe all he needs is a bit of confidence. Surely he could stay away from doing disastrous things, at least as long as Mr Roberts was checked in. Or even better, what if Doug gets a chance to save Mr Robert's life? That would give him a huge confidence boost, and Mr Roberts would respect him._

JD zoned out and imagined Doug and him at Mr Robert's bed, Mr Roberts going into cardiac arrest.

"Quick Doug! Get the defibrillator!" JD yelled and Doug quickly ran away to fetch it..

"I can't find it!" Doug screamed in panic.

"For god's sake Doug, it's standing right over there!"

Doug tripped over it, dragging down a couple of IV bags, knocked over a drawer and eventually got up only to nearly trip over the defibrillator again. JD rolled his eyes as Doug finally rolled the machine to Robert's side.

"Ready?" JD shouted and took the paddles. "CLEAR!"

JD gave Mr Roberts an electric shock, but when he retrieved the paddles, he noticed that it wasn't paddles, but knives.

He quickly looked down at Mr Roberts, panic written in his face, and he simply stared at the body which was all carved up and bloody. Way too much carnage to come from just one strike with the knives, but JD looked shocked at the sight and his face was white as a sheet. He turned to Doug that shrugged with an apologizing smile.

"I couldn't find the paddles, so I replaced them with something else." Doug said and walked to the patient, looking bizarrely calm. "Is he dead?"

Suddenly Mr Roberts sat up, looking horrible with blood covering every inch of his body. His face was sinister and his eyes almost seemed to be glowing.

"I'll make you pay for this, Dr Dorian!" He shouted. "'ll make you pay!"

Mr Roberts leaped over to JD and grabbed his throat. JD was slowly suffocating while Doug was simply standing there, looking oddly indifferent to the whole situation.

"Get away from me!"JD screamed in terror as he flung his arms up to protect himself. He quickly took a few steps back and hit the wall behind him.

The same second his head banged into the hard surface, JD's mind immediately returned to the reality.

JD looked up and noticed that he was back in the real world, with both Doug and a normal looking Mr Roberts watching him uncertainly. JD instinctively glanced at the defibrillator in the corner of the room, but it looked as innocent as ever. With normal paddles.

"Dr Dorian…" Doug hesitantly asked. "I didn't even touch you. Who… Who were you yelling at…?"

JD's breathing was very irregular. He stared at them both in panic, not being able to settle down. His face was pale and he started to look sick.

"My word! Aren't there any normal doctors in this place?" Mr Roberts yelled to whoever that might be listening.

"Dr Dorian, are you alright…?" Doug asked, looking worried.

JD wheezed a little, close to hyperventilating. He then turned around and ran out of the room, leaving both Doug and the patient utterly confused.

He ran along the hallway, looking sick and seemed to have trouble breathing. He leaped in to the first male's restroom that he found. He staggered inside, noticing that nobody else was there, and then opened a stall and fell down to his knees. He crawled towards the toilet and then threw up.

JD's breathing was still quite irregular, but he was slowly regaining control over it. He sank down to the floor and leaned his head to the wall. Looking exhausted.

_What was that all about?_

JD looked down at his hand. It was shivering.

_I couldn't control it. I couldn't even leave it! I've never had a daydream that has made me react this way. That was… Horrible! … I couldn't control it…_

_My head feels funny… It's been fuzzy and weird all day. I can't explain it._

He looked up from his hand with a worried expression written in his face.

_What's happening to me?_

JD slowly got up to his feet. He flushed the toilet and walked out the stall towards a mirror and took a look at his reflection.

He stared at the mirror, looking tired and a bit drowsy. JD leaned his forehead against the glass and then closed his eyes.

_I wonder what's wrong with me today. __I'm feeling so tired… and all these thoughts in my head that doesn't feels like they're mine… Telling me things…_

_Crush it!_

JD looked at his reflection again. His face was terribly pale and he had dark shadows under his eyes. He almost seemed to be in some kind of trance as he watched the picture of himself in the mirror.

_Am I just a burden to everyone…? I don't know why, but I have this nagging feeling that I don't deserve to be here. That I don't deserve to be around other people._

_That I don't deserve to live._

_I think I'm starting to remember why I went to the roof..._

JD looked away from the mirror, and noticed that he was trembling. He gripped the basin harder with both his hands to make them more steady.

_I'm feeling confused... It's like there's two different voices in my head._

_One voice that keeps telling me that I'm a pathetic excuse for a human being and that I should end my miserable life as soon as possible for everybody's sake. And another voice is telling me that the first one is wrong._

_And... I can't tell them apart. Which voice is mine? Which one am I supposed to listen to? I don't know what to do... I can't control this._

_Crush it! __CRUSH IT NOW__!_

Without any warning, JD suddenly banged the mirror with his right fist, hard enough to make it break into pieces. JD flinched violently and quickly backed away a few steps, holding his right hand tightly, which was now bleeding heavily and left small red spots of blood on the floor.

He whimpered quietly and his breaths had become irregular again due to shock and panic.

Before JD got a chance to calm down, someone knocked on the door to the restroom.

"Hey! What's going on in here?" The Janitor's voice was heard from the outside.

One second later he had walked in, and his gaze immediately fell upon JD, who was standing with his back to the mirror. JD had wrapped his injured hand in a piece of his scrub, the blood slowly becoming more and more visible through the fabric.

"What are you up to?" The Janitor asked suspiciously, but then his attention fell upon the broken mirror. "Hey! You…"

Before the Janitor got the chance to say anything, JD hurriedly passed him.

"Leave me alone…" JD mumbled and two seconds later he was back in the corridor.

_I don't feel like staying and be lectured and threatened by the Janitor right now. I just want to get as far away as possible. The tricky thing was to get as far away as possible without bumping into someone I knew… _

"Hey, Newbie!"

JD rolled his eyes at Dr Cox's voice, but didn't stop and kept on walking. A hand suddenly grabbed his shoulder in a rough way and turned him around, and JD was now facing his quite mad mentor.

"Listen here, Kelly!" Cox said irritated. "When you hear me call "Newbie", and you are in a hearing distance, that means that I'm actually talking to _you_. Believe it or not. That goes the same with names such a, Britney, Greta, Jenna, Megan, Lilly, Heather, Rosie, Phyllis…"

"I get it! I get it!" JD replied frustrated and made an attempt to leave again, but Cox stopped him and frowned.

"Oh, are we in a cranky mood toda-ay, princess? I am so sorry; I didn't realize that it's your period now. I should have _known,_ considering that you're being bitchier than usual _and_ munching chocolate and mocha ice cream like a caterpillar trying to eat itself to death."

Cox's mocking smile quickly changed into a curious expression as his eyes noticed the bloody piece of cloth around JD's right fist. JD backed away a few steps, but Cox quickly grabbed his protégé's right wrist and pulled it out from the shirt-wrapping. He looked down at the bloody hand and made a low whistle.

"Holy cow, Pandora. I'm not sure if you read your copy of "Teenage Girl Problems" through properly, but you're supposed to cut near the _artery_, not the whole hand. Because, you see, that doesn't do any good whatsoever. It hurts like hell, and making your hand useless so you can't paint your toenails for the next couple of days. Which will most certainly force you to cancel your date with the school's weed-smoking football-star idiot Dave."

JD tried to pull away, but Cox held his wrist in a vice grip, trying to examine the still bleeding hand. Cox prodded the hand carefully, and JD flinched in pain, but unable to pull away.

"Newbie, how the hell did you manage to get this?" Cox asked and raised an eyebrow at the wound. JD quickly jerked his hand free and managed to get out of his mentor's grip.

"Let go of me…" JD muttered in an almost threatening and very un-JD like way. Cox looked at him with narrowed eyes and JD seemed surprised over what he just had said and stared at the floor with a guilty look.

"I'm sorry..." Cox asked with a sarcastic glare. "Could you repeat what you just said? Because the sentence I registered doesn't answer my question at all. And frankly only confirming that you apparently _do_ have your period right now, which actually was only a pure guess from me _but_ I assume that it just proves how awesome I am."

"I'm fine, Dr Cox." JD muttered. "I just… had a little accident and bruised my hand. That's all. And… And I really need to get back to my patients…"

_Or rather hide in the storage closet until I can go home._

Cox eyed JD closely, like if he was trying to see through something but couldn't tell for sure…

"Anyhow, that "bruise" is gonna need stitches." Cox finally said and turned around, and whistled sharply at JD. "Come here, Newbie."

"Wha… What? No, ah… I better get going… Busy. Got job to do, you know…" JD tried to excuse himself, and was on his way to the opposite direction.

"Or would you rather want me to tell Carla about this and let her fix it?" Cox asked in a slightly sarcastic tone, indicating that he knew perfectly well that JD would _not_ prefer that option. "'Cause, the nurse station is just around the corner. It will take me approximately 19 seconds to get her…"

JD froze in shock.

_NO! __Not__ Carla! She's gonna ask me why, where, what, and when. And then she's gonna be all mother hen over me and want to find out how this happened. I can't deal with that right now, I really can't. Not now. _

"How is it gonna be, Newbie?" Cox asked and folded his arms.

JD simply stood on the floor, not sure what to do. Eventually, JD let out a sigh of apprehension and took a step towards Cox.

"Great." Cox simply stated and whistled sharply again. "Follow me."

They both started to walk down the hallway. Cox then stopped in front of a an examining room a few meters away. He opened the door to check if it was taken, and then stepped inside. Cox nodded to JD to get up on the examination table and JD reluctantly obeyed. Pretty similar to a sad puppy.

_Oh please don't make him ask how it happened! Ok, at least it's Cox. He doesn't care about these kind of things. Especially when it's about me. I could probably show up here with a missing arm and he wouldn't care. Ok, maybe not. But as long as I don't act funny or suspicious in any way…_

Cox was looking through a drawer and evidently found what he was looking for, as he went back to JD.

_Come on. Even if he did ask me what happened, what would I answer? I remember smashing a mirror, __but not __why__...__ Heck, I can't even remember what I was thinking __back then. It's almost like another blackout… Where did it happen now again…? Oh yeah, the rest room... I smashed a mirror in the rest room... __What was I thinking?_

JD shook his head.

_What the hell is happening to me?!_

"Hey! Newbie!" Cox suddenly yelled, thus making JD flinch violently in surprise. Cox had taken a chair next to JD and looked suspiciously at the younger doctor's reaction. But he seemed to choose to ignore it. "For the fourth time, give me your hand, will ya?"

JD automatically stretched out his left and undamaged hand, and Cox gave him a glare.

"Newbie, do you need some help to distinguish what's right and left?" Cox asked in irritation and narrowed his eyes.

"S… Sorry… "JD stammered as he realized his mistake and quickly switched hand.

"Try to focus here." Cox said warningly. "Or I'll stitch your hand over your mouth. Which, come to think about it, wouldn't be such a bad idea. Since it definitely would decrease the amount of annoying words coming out of it and bothering decent people that are trying to do some good around here.

JD kept quiet and stared gloomily at the floor. Cox raised an eyebrow, but decided not to say anything. JD flinched slightly as Cox started to clean the wound with an antiseptic solution.

_See? You __are__ a burden to everyone! You annoy people! __They all hate you!_

_It's just Cox… He says things like this all the time. He doesn't mean it…_

_But what if he does?_

JD ran his left hand through his hair with a tired look.

_I'm feeling so __confused… I think I have a headache. My brain is… Oh god…_

_Why don't you just kill yourself?_

JD jerked out of his narrating, looking terrified, like if he couldn't believe what he just had been thinking.

"Stop twitching, Smurfette." Cox said with an annoyed glare. "I'm about to stitch you up, and mark my words, I'm _more_ than prepared to go on with my earlier mentioned threat if you can't keep still."

"I… I'm sorry." JD quickly apologized and tried to laugh. "I was just imagining… That someone suddenly slams open the door and you accidentally pierces my hand with the needle, and… "

"Keep on moving and talking like this and that very thing can easily be arranged for you, Martha." Cox said threatening. "I'll give you one small advice. Be still. Be quiet. "

"That was two, actually… "

Cox gave JD a very dark look.

"Okay, I'll be quiet… "JD added nervously.

None of the doctors said anything. Cox kept on stitching up JD's hand while JD was in deep thoughts, and looked slightly troubled by something.

_It's weird to see Cox voluntarily help me like this. It's not really like him. Ha! Maybe he do care for me somewhere in that mean, grumpy mind of his. I knew it! __I would love to rub it in his face, but I think I should watch what I'm saying at the moment... I better not upset him when he's holding a pointy sharp object in his hand... Not a good idea._

JD zoned out and imagined himself in the examination room, with Cox still stitching his hand.

"Thanks a bunch for helping me out Perry!" JD said gleefully. "I thought I was gonna bleed to death back there! Lucky me that you showed up. Hey, do you wanna hear something fun that happened today? I know that you use to say that you think that I'm annoying when I talk, but I simply don't think that's true. I think you just say that because you love me so much that you can't stand me expressing my feelings all the time... "

Cox suddenly looked up from his work and stared at JD, with eyes glowing with murderous intent. He held up an object in his hand. It was not the needle he had used before, but a sewing awl.

"_Don't_ call me "Perry"." Cox growled threateningly.

JD stared at the sharp object in the older doctor's hand, but before he got the chance to do anything, Cox had raised it in the air and then stabbed it violently into JD's already injured hand.

"Stop it!" JD yelled in panic and instinctively jerked his hand back.

JD stared at his mentor in fear, but Cox was now suddenly holding a completely ordinary needle in his hand. And when JD glanced at his own right hand, it was not worse damaged than before.

JD exhaled, relieved that nothing of that had been real. But then he suddenly noticed Cox's face. Cox looked deeply frustrated and had a slightly visible throbbing vein at his temple, a sign of anger. He seemed to have a hard time preventing himself for start yelling about something. JD then realized that he had unintentionally pulled back his injured hand, not only in the daydream, but in real life too. Pulled it away from Cox who was trying to stitch it.

JD hurriedly held it out again, and almost expected Cox to yell at him again for being such a troublesome patient. But instead, Cox was staring at him in some kind of mix between surprise and suspicion, seemingly not sure about how he should react to JD's odd behavior. He didn't say anything though, but glanced briefly at his protégé as he finished the job.

"There. All done." Cox said just as indifferently as if he just had done the laundry.

Cox got up to his feet and JD quickly slid down from the examining table and took a look at Cox's handiwork.

"Thanks." JD said, sounding just like normal. "You know… You could have stitched something funnier than just four straight lines. Like your name? "Cox" shouldn't be that hard to fit in. And there's an "X" in the end, and that's just like perfect…"

"Newbie, I _can_ spell my name." Cox said coldly and opened the door for JD. "And don't go and rip up those stitches the first thing you do, ok? Because if you do, you can bet that I'll make sure that Carla will be the one fixing it. No matter what you say. Got it?"

"Can I still do Turk's and my new secret super special awesome handshake…?" JD asked curiously.

Cox answered the question with a threatening look and then a sharp nod at the door. JD laughed a bit nervously and then walked to the door. But when he was just about to step out in the hallway, Cox suddenly stopped him with an arm and looked straight at him.

"Care to tell me how you got that wound?"

_Damn it!_

JD looked away with a confused expression.

"Um… I…" JD hesitated.

_Don't tell him! __Don't you dare tell him!_

_It's a secret! You can't tell anyone! They wouldn't understand! They will hate you even more!_

"I… I kinda tripped." JD said and avoided eye contact. "In the stairs…"

"Oh. Well that makes sense." Cox admitted sarcastically. "If you were carrying glass splinters in your right hand at that particular moment…

JD looked terrified.

_Kick him! Punch him! Kill him! _

_Don't let him figure it out!_

JD shook his head lightly, like if he was trying to get rid of an annoying fly.

_Or kill yourself before they find out._

"I got to go…" JD said, still without looking at Cox. "I've been away for too long… I got patients. Thanks again. I... I'll see ya…"

JD quickly duck under Cox's arm and hurried away from him down the hallway, while Cox was watching him suspiciously.

***

**  
Author's note:** _There. I'm really not sure how this chapter turned out. I feel like I should have spent more time on it. And that's why I need you guys. ;) Is there anything in this plot that you think is annoying, or should be changed? Grammatical errors? Ideas or opinions? I'm counting on you. \(^0^)/_

**Next time:** _A shorter chapter, but it should be up pretty soon. It's done, but it's written in "current time" and I must change that. We'll get to meet Carla, Turk, and JD's mind keeps playing tricks on him..._


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: **Wow. A new chapter in less than a week? Someone has been busy. =D Or simply got way too much free time. Which I don't. I got two trucks with school work waiting for me in the parking lot.  
Ok, this is actually more like two chapters in one. But since both of them were very short, I decided to put them together. And I really want the story to move forward as fast as possible. (Can't wait till chapter 5! It's one of my favorites.)  
And a big, great thanks to everyone that leaves reviews! As always, I appreciate any kind of constructive criticism. ;) For example, I'm still not sure if I use correct grammar everywhere...

**Note:** You know what? I just realized that in Bizzaro world, I own Scrubs! =D But, this is not Bizzaro world... You do the math.

***

JD left an empty examination room with his right hand now wrapped up in some bandage, just enough to cover the wound with the stitches.

_Okay. As long as I try to use my left hand instead, and don't wave around with my right so much, no one should notice a thing. No questions about how I hurt my hand or anything like that…_

JD walked the hallway but then stopped and slapped his forehead.

_Damn it! I don't have any patients right now. But I need to work. I must occupy my mind with something. __I must distract it from thinking of…other things._

_But to get a new patient, I need a new chart. And the only way to get one is to visit the nurse station. To visit Carla._

JD seemed to be mentally preparing himself as he started to walk the hospital's entrance where the nurse station was located.

_Ok, no biggie__. I pass by, ask for a new chart, and then I'm ready to do my day's work like a normal human being. But I think I better put up some guidelines... Considering the incidents I've had today. Ok! Here goes. First of all; no daydreaming! I'll just have to restrain myself. It will probably be hard, but I can do it. No problem. Ok, secondly: Try and keep track of my thoughts. They can be a bit __sneaky__, so I have to be really careful with what kind of decisions I make today. But most importantly: __Don't loose control!_

Suddenly, Turks rounded the corner and immediately noticed JD. They both grinned to each other.

"V-bear!" Turk said with a skip and made some dance moves.

"C-bear!" JD shouted in joy and ran towards Turk.

They both suddenly stopped about one meter from each other and Turk reached out his right hand to JD.

"Super special awesome handshake!" Turk said invitingly.

JD was just about to take it, but hesitated and looked uncertain.

"You know…" JD began, trying to come up with an explanation while hiding his right hand behind his back. "We've haven't done the super special awesome handshake with our _left_ hands. And I think that this handshake deserves to be used to it's full potential. Don't you?"

"Dude, I didn't think of that." Turk said and snapped his fingers, looking impressed over JD's cleverness.

Turk immediately switched hand and held out his left.

"Ok, let's do this man!" Turk said with a dead serious voice.

"Let's do this!" JD said excited.

JD and Turk did a very complicated ritual with their hands, as to hook each others' pinkies, clap their hand at least five times, spin around on the place, more clapping, a quick jump, and so on in almost 4 minutes.

Turk finished his turn with a break-dance on the spot.

"Dude. Awesome." Turk stated when he stopped.

"I know!" JD laughed and jumped up and down in pure joy.

"See ya later." Turk said and leaved.

"Same." JD answered and started to walk in the other direction.

"JD, wait" Turk snapped his fingers again, like if he was just about to forget something. "Try not to get in the way of the Janitor today, okay?"

"Why? Has he found a penny stuck in the elavator?" JD asked and tilted his head to one side in a curious way.

"Nah, he's just really pissed because some guy has broken a mirror in the restroom on the third floor. And since he's usually after you, I thought I should tell you about it so that you don't get on the wrong foot with him today. You should probably try to avoid him."

JD's face turned pale and he almost looked a little bit sick.

"Yeah… Thanks." JD answered meekly.

"Don't mention it, bro." Turk said happily and then left.

***

JD stopped a few meters away from the nurse station and took a deep breath to calm down.

_Alright! Let's do this! I'm feeling just fine right now. There's__ no-hothing_ _to worry about, to use my mentor's way to speak._

JD walked smilingly towards the station and leaned towards it.

"Hello Carla." JD greeted happily. "I need a patient. I'm all out of work here."

"Oh, hi JD." Carla said and looked through some charts. "Just hang on a sec…"

As Carla sorted some files JD took the opportunity to look around a little.

_Okay, good… No strange thoughts so far… Or, at least I don't think so. __It's hard to tell the strange thoughts apart from the normal ones__… It's kind of scary.__._

"How are you feeling?" Carla asked with a quick look at JD.

"What, whydoyouask?" JD quickly rattled off and gave Carla a suspicious look.

"I heard about the roof." Carla answered with a concerned look. "Bambi, that could have ended really bad. It's was just pure luck that Turk decided to follow you up there."

"Yeah, he was like an x-man…" JD said in a dreaming voice and began to imagine something.

"Hey, I don't want you to picture my husband in tight revealing costumes! Carla said threateningly. "I'm his wife. I have some certain privileges you know."

Carla's words made JD quickly return to reality, looking a bit shaken.

_Ok, JD. You knew this wasn't going to be easy… But if you could stay in the real life for __five minutes__ without __spacing__ out in front of Carla, it would be __much__ helpful._

"Here you are." Carla interrupted JD's thoughts. "Mr Phillips in room 117. He was checked in this afternoon with stomach pain and unexplainable dizziness."

Carla handed the chart over to JD.

"Which means that you're obviously not the only one around here that should stay away from heights." Carla said with a taunting smile.

JD huffed a little at Carla's imply and took the chart, but forgot to use his left hand and grabbed the chart with his right instead. JD immediately realized his mistake and made an attempt to switch hand, but Carla had already noticed it.

"Bambi!" She said surprised and raised an eyebrow at the bandage. "What have happened to your hand?"

"It's nothing…! I was just a bit clumsy, that's all." JD laughed a little. "Come on Carla, you know me. Flailing limbs all around like a human helicopter and knocking things and people over… I have actually been thinking of getting an alarm so that everyone can take cover when I'm around.

JD started to space out, but then immediately jerked back to reality.

_No! I said __no daydreaming__! __Bad brain__! You know what can happen. __Ok, focus now. Try to resist… Man, this is harder than I thought._

"Have you had it checked out properly?" Carla asked and made an attempt to look at it a bit closer, but JD carefully slid away from her.

"_Please_ Carla." JD laughed again. "I am a _doctor_. I think that I got this under control."

"That's why I'm worried!" Carla stated seriously. "It's because you _are_ a doctor. You lot _never_ looks after yourselves. You all think that you're superman."

"I'm no superman." JD said and shrugged.

"Anyhow, how did it happen? Carla asked worriedly.

JD rolled his eyes, as to say "And here we go…"

"Carla, it's nothing!" JD tried to explain. "I… I slipped with the knife when I was cutting bread."

"What? This morning?" Carla said and frowned. "I thought you had cereals for breakfast?"

"Yes Carla, but the bread wasn't for breakfast." JD said with a tired voice, like a parent explaining something to a very small child. "I had a tuna sandwich earlier today, not for breakfast, but for _breakbrunch_."

Carla stared at him with a very confused look.

"That's between breakfast and brunch…" JD tried to explain.

"Ok, ok. I get it." Carla interrupted patiently but then looked puzzled. "Hang on a sec… You said that you hurt your hand when you were flailing your limbs around? What does that have to do with it?

"What can I say?" JD shrugged. "If you flail both arms around, and one of them is holding a knife, the outcome is pretty obvious to me…"

Before Carla got a chance to question the logic in JD's reasoning, the delivery guy showed up carrying some boxes.

"Three boxes of scrubs in size XXL." The delivery guy exclaimed and put the boxes down while looking around. "Not to be rude, but do you have a lot of overweight doctors here? Since you're ordering so many large scrubs, I mean..."

"No. But a lot of people steals them and use them as jammies." Carla said indifferently as she signed the order.

JD observed the delivery guy with a curious smile.

_I've never noticed how much delivery guys interrogate with other people in their job. They drive all over cities and states to deliver things from person to person. It's actually pretty amazing. I think that I would fit perfectly for the job!_

JD pictured himself as a mail man. He walked up to a yellow house with a box in his arms and knocked on the door until a man in his forties answered it.

"Good morning Mr O'Neil! There's a really big package for you today!" JD happily announced and held up the big box with a note saying _"Delightfully delivered by your favourite mailman JD"_ and a cookie hanging from it in a string.

Mr O'Neil opened the door and looked at the package in surprise.

"But I haven't ordered anything." O'Neil said confused.

The same second O'Neil took the box in his hands, it suddenly burst open and hundreds of spiders and insects crawled up from it. Mr O'Neil screamed in panic and tried to brush them away, but his whole body was soon completely covered in insects and spiders. He simply stood in the doorway, screaming in absolute horror.

JD stared at the man in shock and O'Neil fell to the ground in convulses.

"_HEEEEELP!!" _O'Neil screamed desperately but his voice soon got muffled as the tiny intruders started to fill up his mouth.

JD quickly looked through his mailbag in panic to find anything that he could use to help him with. He felt something in the bottom and picked it up. It was a big knife.

JD looked at it in surprise. His face then slowly changed. It become calmer and he almost appeared to be in some kind of trance. He tightened the grip around the knife and his eyes slowly moved to the man on the ground. He raised the object in the air, his face completely empty of any feelings. And with a rapid speed and force he stabbed O'Neil in the chest with the sharp dagger. Loads of blood. His vision blurred with red. He raised his hand again…

JD flashed back to reality, his eyes boggled in shock and he gripped the nurse station with his fists, looking sick.

"JD! Are you alright?" Carla asked concerned and hurried towards him.

JD gasped for air and seemed to be on the edge to hyperventilate.

"Calm down." Carla instructed. "Slow, deep breaths."

JD slowly started to calm down. His breathing become more regular but he still looked absolutely terrified.

_Oh god… I feel like I'm gonna throw up again… Come on, deep breaths. Try to relax. It's over now… wasn't real… nothings real… calm down._

"Ok…" JD panted exhausted. "… I'm fine now…"

_Not true. What the hell happened...!?_

"Bambi, you look like you're going to faint any second." Carla said worriedly and felt JD's forehead to check if he had a fever. "I think you better lie down."

"I… I'm fine… I promise…" JD explained, but his voice was very shaky, which didn't make his statement sound too convincing.

"JD, what happened?" Carla asked in a serious voice, still looking worried. "Tell me."

JD tried to avoid looking at her. He stared at the floor with an almost dead expression and felt unusually weak and tired, like if he had been running. Carla watched him anxiously.

"Bambi…?" Carla asked. "Please tell me what's…"

"It's ok…" JD answered and let go of the station, slightly unsteady. "Nothing serious… I guess that I haven't eaten enough vitamins or something...

"Bambi, you're white as a sheet." Carla said and stepped in JD's way to prevent him from leaving. "You're obviously not feeling alright. I think you should…"

"Carla, I'm fine!" JD suddenly yelled.

Carla stared at JD, surprised over the sudden outburst. JD looked away from her, frustrated and tired.

" I really need to go…" JD mumbled. "Got to check up on Mr Philips. Excuse me…"

JD took the chart and walked away, leaving Carla in a state of confusion and even more concern than before.

As soon as JD was out of sight, he leaned his back towards a wall.

_Damn._

_I couldn't help it… I couldn't do anything to stop it… Damn it! DAMN IT! __Stupid brain! Didn't I tell you to not to loose it..._

JD closed his eyes, looking exhausted and slightly uneasy.

_Why does this keep happening to me!? __Why__?! I…__ Oh god, that thing was awful… __Awful__… I'm feeling sick just thinking about it…_

The image of O'Neil's massacred body suddenly appeared before him and JD immediately opened his eyes in horror.

_Why did you tell Carla that you were fine?! __You're __not__ fine!__ Every time you space out in one of your stupid fantasies, this will happen! You need help! Don't you get it? __This got to stop__. It has to. But... I don't know how…_

_No. Don't tell anyone. What can they do to help? They won't care about your problems. You're not __important__ to them. Leave it. Keep on as usual. _

_There's absolutely nothing you can do._

***

**Author's note:** I personally liked the last chapter more. But it doesn't matter. Sometimes, less interesting chapters are needed. =)

**Next time:** A very short chapter. Carla hunts down Turk to ask him why JD is behaving so odd. More funny than angsty. ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note:** So. This chapter is the shortest so far. I would have loved to simply put it together with the next one to make it longer, but I can't. The next chapter is one of my favourites, and it has to be the way it is. ;) (Yes, I meant to say that it's chapter SIX that I look forward to. Sorry about that typo. XD)  
Anyway. Hope that you'll enjoy this one anyway. ;)

**Note:** I'm not in the mood to repeat that I don't own Scrubs and don't earn any money for doing this etc, etc... SO I'm gonna use the space to thank some of you who have reviewed the story so far.  
I love every single one of you. 3

Mighty-Kites: Thanks for the first review. ;) I'm sorry that I didn't manage to update in ten minutes. ^^

ButlerxArtemis: Thanks for both of your reviews. =D I hope that Cox didn't get too much out of character.

Kiwi-satsuma-: Thank you. =) And I will try to keep up the creepiness. ;D

IamMadlyInLoveWithJohnnyDepp: Thanks! I'm so glad that you appreciate the humour, it's difficult to keep it up with all the creepiness and drama.

Konoha's Kage: I know exactly what you mean! XD And thank you. :)

EliH2: Thanks for your kind words. And JD will keep going even more loco in the upcoming chapters. ^^ And it will be noticed quite soon. Stay tuned... ;)

turtlegirl42: That's probably the most flattering compliment a fanfic writer can get. =) Thank you. (^0^)

KHwhitelion: Thank you so much!! I loo~ove you. ;D

Now, back to the story.

***

Carla was walking in the hallway, apparently looking for something or someone. Eventually she spotted Turk chatting with some other surgeons about the liver transplantation from earlier, with Turk trying his best to imitate every tiny bit of the procedure so that his colleges will get a picture of how awesome he was. Carla hurried towards him.

"Honey, we need to talk." She said.

Turk looked at Carla in fear. He quickly excused himself to the other surgeons and dragged Carla to a more private part of the corridor.

"Ok baby, don't be mad." Turk said in a half whispering voice. "I only borrowed it a little for Rowdy, and I promise you that I'll get rid of the dog hair the first thing I do when I get home."

"What do you mean? Borrowed what?" Carla asked puzzled.

"Um…" Turk hesitated as he realized that Carla obviously was referring to something else. "I borrowed… your life jacket to Rowdy."

"Turk, since when do I have a life jacket?" Carla asked annoyed. "And why on earth would you put one on a dead dog?"

"Two _very_ good questions, Carla." Turk admitted proudly. "And there are two very good explanations to both of them. If you would just give me _one_ moment…"

"Forget it, Turk…" Carla said with a tired voice, not in the mood for Turk's explanations. "I wanted to talk with you about something else."

"Is it about that new nickname I don't want you to call me?" Turk said with a slight dislike in his voice. "Because I'm telling you, baby. _No_ guy wants to be called Mr Tubbypuff. Not in bed! Not anywhere!"

"Turk!" Carla said frustrated. "I wanted to talk to you about _JD_. I'm worried about him."

"Carla, relax." Turk said reassuringly. "We all agreed that the thing that happened on the roof was nothing to worry about…"

"I'm not talking about the roof." Carla said with a serious look. "I met him just 20 minutes ago, and he was acting really weird."

"What do you mean? JD is always weird." Turk said and shrugged.

"I'm not talking about "JD weird"; I'm mean _really_ weird." Carla said very concerned. "He wasn't acting like himself."

"Baby, no offence, but I've known that guy far longer than you have." Turk said truthfully. "I think that I've would have noticed if there was something wrong going on with him."

"Well, no _offence_ Turk." Carla answered chilly. "But you men are about as empathic as lawn gnomes. Sometimes, you can be a bit thick when it comes to sense other people feelings."

Turk seemed to want to argue about that, but decided to leave the subject.

"Are you sure?" Turk asked instead. "What exactly happened?"

"Well, at first he seemed just normal." Carla answered anxiously. "But then he just froze on the spot looking terrified and started to hyperventilate… And when I asked him about his injured hand, he didn't really want to talk about it…"

"Wo, wo, wo!" Turk cut her off, looking shocked. "_What_ injured hand?"

"His right." Carla answered in surprise. "He had a bandage around it… You didn't know?"

"No!" Turk replied completely flabbergasted. "I did not know! But... Wait, hold on a sec…"

Turk seemed to be searching through his memory.

"When we did our super special awesome handshake earlier…"

"Turk. You didn't do that ridiculous handshake in public, did you?" Carla asked in a tired voice.

"_The thing_ is…" Turk said and ignored Carla. "JD insisted that we should do it with our left hands instead of our right hands. Carla, are you sure that he didn't tell you _how_ he got that injury?"

"Well, he _did_ tell me something…" Carla explained. "But, the problem is that I think he lied…"

Carla and Turk shared a concerned look, not sure what to believe.

"Ok." Turk stated. "There's definitely something that's not right with JD."

"Maybe he's just stressed…?" Carla suggested. "And a lot of macho guys hate to admit if they are hurt or injured…"

"Baby." Turk interrupted seriously. "I don't know who _you_ are talking about. But JD is as macho as a package of strawberry flavoured ice cream with skittles on top."

"Alright, I get it…" Carla sighed.

"Do you think that he might be sick or something?" Turk pondered.

"I don't know." Carla answered and glanced at her wristwatch. "Look, I got to get back to work. I just want you to keep an extra eye on JD. Okay?"

"Sure thing." Turk promised. "I will ask him what this is all about as soon as I see him."

Carla nodded and hurried away. Turk seemed unsure of what to think about the whole situation, as he returned to the group of surgeons. Where Todd was busy making some very distinctive movements with his hips and arms, obviously not discussing liver transplantations anymore.

***

**Author's note: **I got nothing to say. You can think of this chapter as a simple bridge to something more interesting. ;) _Much_ more interesting...

**Next time:** Ooh, I like the next chapter!! Contains creepiness, craziness, and humour. ^^ JD is back, and we also get to meet Ted. Not for long, but still in an amusing way. =) And... Cox returns. Yay! :D I can't wait!


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note:** Finally. I'm so sorry for the late update, but I had to concentrate on a paper that had to be done this Monday. T_T  
Anyway, I've been looking forward to this chapter. ;) Mostly because from now on, it gets more interesting.  
Remember to keep telling me what you think about the story so far! What do you like? What do you dislike? Any ideas? (It's not much that I can change, since the story is already finished in my head, but I can still try to squeeze in some minor changes)  
I hope that you'll enjoy it! =D If not, I'm terribly sorry for ruining your expectations... =( And I'll try my best to make it up for you.

**Note:** I still don't own Scrubs. I deeply apologize if I gave anyone that false impression. I will also take the opportunity to apologize to all Kelso fans out there, since he doesn't really appear in this fic. He has one single line in this chapter, and another one in an upcoming one, but it's only in a daydream. Sorry. ^^;

***

JD was examining Mr Phillips in a large room with three other beds. Mr Phillips was a young man around 30 to 35 years old, light brown hair and a quite anxious face.

_It feels great to be working again. As long as I have something to do, my mind doesn't get… distracted so easily. And I'm glad that Mr Phillips doesn't seem to suffer from anything serious. I'm not sure how I would handle a patient's death right now... But one thing that __does__ bother me is Mr Phillips obvious paranoia for doctors._

"Well, Mr Phillips. Your test results come back just now." JD stated cheerfully. "And I can assure you that there's nothing wrong with you."

"How can you be so sure…?" Phillips demanded to know.

"Mr Phillips, you suffer from stomach ache and dizziness." JD explained and shrugged lightly. "The tests come back negative, so you have probably just digested something bad."

"But you're not _sure_." Mr Phillips stated with a slight accusing tone. "And I've heard plenty of stories about doctors that rush tests and don't check them properly because they just want to go home a little sooner.

_Home? I don't want to go home. I have to stay here on the hospital __so that I can occupy myself with work and prevent my __brain__ from going nuts and try something funny. L__ike hurting someone. Or myself._

"Look, I can assure you that the test results are just fine." JD said, holding up the chart so that Mr Phillips could look for himself. "See? It's double checked and everything. And here…"

JD reached for his pencil to point at a specific column on the chart, but couldn't find it in his pocket.

"Mr Jenkins!" JD said frustrated. "Can I have my pen back, _please_?"

A man in the mid thirties was lying in the bed next to Phillips'. He had dark brown hair, blue eyes, a nice face, and looked very guilty.

"Sorry Dr Dorian…" He apologized as he pulled out the pencil from under his blanket.

"Well, _thank you so much_ Mr Jenkins." JD said irritated as he snatched back his pen. "And you know what? I think I'm gonna leave a note in the suggestion box about putting kleptomaniacs in _single_ rooms."

"But what about my symptoms!" Phillips asked loud to get back the attention. "My stomach still hurts and the dizziness is making me seasick."

"If it bothers you that much, there are plenty of meds at the pharmacy that help against those kind of things." JD explained. "I can get you some right away if you want."

"How do I know that you're giving me the right medicine?" Phillips asked anxiously with a suspicious look at JD.

"I don't know." JD sighed, fairly annoyed. "I guess you'll just have to trust us. Or look them up on the internet like everyone else when you get home."

"What if it is something that you haven't checked for?" Mr Phillips asked stubbornly. "Stomach ache and dizziness can be a lot of illnesses."

"Mr Phillips…" JD said in a calm and reassuring voice. "Doctors are _not_ as incompetent as you think they are! I bet that you just recently have read somewhere about a doctor that totally screwed up, and _that's_ the reason to why you don't trust me."

"Well…" Mr Phillips admitted a little embarrassed. "My brother _did_ read a book a couple of weeks ago about a doctor that forgot to fill the syringe before he injected it. And then the patient died of a heart attack."

"Oh, that particularly thing have happened here four times." JD apologized and Mr Phillips eyes boggled in terror. "But don't worry about it! That doctor is working in the morgue now."

"I'm going to die." Mr Phillips stated and leaned back to his pillows heavily, like a man that just had accepted his execution. "I can feel it. I'm turning cold…"

"That's only because Mr Jenkins _is stealing your blanket!"_ JD said with an angry look at the other bed, where Mr Jenkins had managed to drag almost the whole blanket over to his side. "Stop that!"

"Sorry Dr Dorian…" Mr Jenkins said sadly.

"This guy is unbelievable!" JD ranted and pulled back the blanket. "I'm warning you Mr Jenkins. No more stealing!"

"Am I dead yet?" Mr Phillips wanted to know, with a tired and curious voice.

"No, Mr Phillips. You are not." JD sighed. "Ok, listen. I can run the test again if it makes you happy. Is that good with you?"

"And don't forget to double check it." Mr Phillips demanded with a mournful voice.

JD gave Mr Phillips a thumb up before he turned around and left the room. A few meters away, when JD was just about to round a corner, he almost got knocked over by Ted Buckland. JD managed to keep up his balance but Ted dropped to the floor iwith a painful "thud"...

"… Why meee…" Ted whined as he lied on his back, quite similar to a turtle.

"Sorry Ted." JD apologized and eyed Ted with an uncertain look. "Do… you want some help…?"

"No, no… I can do this…" Ted stuttered and tried to roll on the side, but just like a turtle, he seemed unable to do so.

"Need a hand?" JD offered again.

"I can do this… Ted repeated.

JD rolled his eyes. He gripped Ted's right arm and dragged him up on his feet.

"Thank you…" Ted said gloomily and brushed away some invisible dust from his shoulders.

"You're welcome." JD answered indifferently, but then gave Ted a curious look. "Have you been running or something…?"

"Wha, what? … Um, yeah…" Ted admitted and picked up his suitcase from the floor. "I thought I saw the Janitor, and I didn't want him to see me…"

"Why? JD asked and raised an eyebrow. "You two are buddies, right?"

"Well… Not really. He seems to think that since I was on the third floor earlier today, I'm the one guilty for a broken mirror in a rest room, or something like that..."

JD's face turned slightly pale.

"But that's ridiculous. He can't possible prove that." JD said and tried his best to sound reassuring.

"No he can't, but he has already punished me for it." Ted said with a dead voice. "He stole my suitcase, and when I found it a half hour later all the papers were gone and it contained a weasel."

"A living weasel?" JD asked with a frown.

"A living, angry one." Ted confirmed depressed.

JD smiled at this.

_Listening to Ted's problems actually makes me feel a little better. Ted is probably the only person in this place that's even more miserable than I am right now. It's like we have something in common. _

"Ted, may I ask you something?" JD asked honestly. "Have you ever… Heard a voice, your own voice, telling you to do things...? Like hurt yourself or others… or to kill yourself…?

"I'm thinking about killing myself everyday." Ted answered in a normal voice. "But this is the first time that someone else has suggested it… I guess that settles it then..."

"No!" JD quickly yelled. "Forget what I said, ok? I was just curious, that's all. Don't walk away and do... something stupid."

_Ok… Maybe no __that__ much alike…_

JD then noticed that Ted had dropped something else on the floor. When Ted picked it up and put it on his nose, JD could see that it was…

"Glasses?" JD asked puzzled. "I didn't know that you had glasses, Ted."

"Just for a few days…" Ted muttered as he corrected the thick, black glasses a bit. "Kelso is making me wear them. I got a temporary eye condition from my day off and I must have these on to see where I'm going, or else I will only walk into things all the time…"

"You didn't have them on when we bumped into each other just now." JD said and grinned at the ugly glasses. "You know, you kinda look like a bald owl in them…"

"Well, maybe that's the reason to why people don't seem to recognize me in these..." Ted muttered. "People act like they don't know me, and I don't like being more ignored than usual… That's why I'm trying not to wear them."

"Oh come on Ted, I'm sure that you're just overreacting…"

"Hey! Kimmy!"

Both JD and Ted quickly turned around just to notice that Cox was walking up to them, looking very annoyed over something.

"I got something to talk to you about, Newbie." Cox said and pointed at JD. "And with that, I mean that _I'm _gonna do the talking and you'll just stand right in front of me and listen without interfering…"

Cox then suddenly noticed Ted with the owl glasses on and eyed him in surprise.

"Who's the dork? Your new boyfriend?" Cox asked JD.

"That's it." Ted said tiredly and took off the glasses. "I'm taking these off… I don't care what Kelso…"

"Ted Buckland!" Kelso's loud voice was heard in the corridor, causing Ted to almost throw the glasses back on his nose again before run away into that direction. The suitcase was screeching and made rattling noises like if a big rat were trapped inside it.

"Coming sir! I'm on my way!"

JD and Cox stared after Ted in some kind of shared curiosity as he ran away down the corridor.

"Did that suitcase just _squeak_…?" Cox said with a puzzled voice as his eyes followed Ted.

"It's a weas…" JD began.

"I… Wasn't talking to _you_, Mindy." Cox said with a surprised look at JD, like if he honestly couldn't believe how JD could even think of something like that. "My attention was actually more directed to that stain on the floor than to you. Anyhow, I'm not intending to stand here in the corridor and chit chat with you too long, since that might give confused people an impression of that we enjoy to hang out with each other…"

"Because it's true!" JD said out loud so that everyone could hear, and then moved closer to Cox's right side with a grin. "Yep. We buddies like to hang in the hallway, chatting about anything that's…"

"Move 60 centimetres away from my body within 2 seconds or I will strangle you." Cox explained.

"Ok." JD quickly answered and immediately obeyed.

"That's exactly why I don't want to make this conversation any longer than necessary." Cox muttered bitterly. "Anyway, let's skip to the reason why I'm here: Newbie, I got a FYI for you."

"About what?" JD asked curiously.

"Your patient Mr Phillips is crying his guts out and is begging for someone to get him a priest. I personally consider that a complete normal behaviour after spending five minutes listening to your voice, but I'm forced to ask if you might have a better explanation to this."

"Oh. Well… Mr Phillips has some trust issues when it comes to doctors..." JD explained. "He thinks that stomach pain and dizziness are symptoms for an incurable illness, and he's convinced that he is dying. I _have_ tried to tell him that all his tests came back negative, but he refuses to believe me. He asked me to run it again, and I was just on my way to…"

"Wait a second. _P__lease_ be good and tell me that you didn't agree to that, did you?" Cox asked with an almost pained expression.

"What?" JD said and shrugged. "If it gets him to feel more comfortable…"

"Newbie, when are you _ever_ going to get that faulty, defective brain of yours switched out to a _new_ one?" Cox asked and started to stare at JD's forehead. "And my tip is, don't pick one from the bargain box like you did last time. Buy one that actually works properly and with at least two years guaranty."

"What's so wrong with running the test one more time?" JD asked a bit offended.

"Mostly because it's a waste of time, money, and my patience." Cox stated. "Newbie, didn't you just say that this guy doesn't _trust_ doctors? If he didn't believe that the _last_ test were right, why the heck would he be pleased with this one?"

JD seemed to be considering this logic. His head tilted to the side, his eyes searched for the roof…

_No! Stop!_

JD shook his head.

_No daydreaming! I need to focus here... Man, I got to learn how to control this better. _

"I will take that as a sign that you're agreeing with me." Cox stated.

"Well... Do you have any better idea?" JD asked with slight tone of sarcasm.

"Should I take that as a challenge…?" Cox asked with narrowed eyes.

"Maybe?" JD said nonchalantly.

"Bring it on." Cox said and headed to Mr Phillips room.

Both doctors entered the room and Mr Phillips looked up with a depressed look and a slight suspicious glimpse in his eyes.

"Mr Phillips." Cox stated and took his chart. "All your tests come back negative. You're fit as fiddle and can go home to your family, dog, beaver, or whatever it is that you appreciate most in your life."

"But what about my symptoms?" Mr Phillips asked stubbornly.

JD grinned at the expected answer and looked at Cox to see what he was gonna do. Cox picked up a prescription pad and wrote down something.

"Pick this up at the pharmacy when you leave. That's it, and you're free to go. Run away. You're free."

"But how can I be sure that I'm not suffering from something serious!" Mr Phillips almost yelled and gave Cox an accusing and suspicious look.

Cox leaned closer to Mr Phillips, making the man uncomfortable and quickly crawl a few inches away from the doctor.

"Because I say so." Cox stated with a threatening voice. "And because I'm a doctor, and you're not. If you want a 100% certain answer to what causes your symptoms, I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint you. 'Cause… There are none. But if you want to be _99%_ certain, then quit your job at the Whiny House and become a doctor yourself. The end."

Mr Phillips looked shocked and stared at Cox with his mouth wide open.

"Any questions?" Cox asked politely.

"No..." Mr Phillips said and fell reluctantly back to the pillows.

Cox nodded and walked out from the room with JD.

"You know... Maybe Mr Phillips just don't trust _incompetent_ doctors? I don't know?" Cox pondered with a sarcastic look.

"Well…!" JD said irritated, trying to come up with a good reply. "Maybe… he only trusts _scary_ doctors? I don't know?"

Cox raised an eyebrow and JD seemed to consider his answer.

"Wait, let me try that again…" JD said, thinking of a new reply.

"Newbie!" Cox said loudly and immediately got JD's full attention. "Try to accept this once and for all. I will ne-hever accept you as a real doctor. In fact, I even got problems accepting your gender, hence all girl's name I keep calling you. However, I guess that I can't deny that you have done _some_ useful work here on the hospital. But I simply consider it as yet another miracle in Mother Nature's creation. Like bumblebees, that technically shouldn't be able to fly, but are too stupid to know that and so does it anyway.

"That's just a myth you know…" JD pointed out.

"So is your balls." Cox answered indifferently.

"Oh." JD pondered. "I guess I walked right into that one, huh?"

"You bet." Cox confirmed. "But…"

Cox unexpectedly grabbed JD's right hand and eyed it.

"At least you haven't managed to rip up the stitches yet, so I guess that I have to give you a golden star and admit that you're not _completely_ hopeless.

JD carefully slipped out of Cox's grip.

"That's only because I'm so careful." JD explained proudly. "You might not think of me as a good doctor, but I _am_ a very responsible person. "

A sound of a pager was heard from Mr Phillips room. JD checked his pockets with a puzzled look as he slowly realized who's pager it is.

"_Mr Jenkins_!" JD yelled angrily.

"Sorry Dr Dorian…" Mr Jenkins voice was heard from one of the beds.

JD marched frustrated in to the room and soon returned with his beeper.

"I guess that by "responsible", you didn't count personal belongings and possessions?" Cox asked dryly.

"I can't believe that guy!" JD said annoyed and made an irritated gesture towards the room. "He steals everything! I heard from a nurse that they have to check his bed twice a day, and this morning she found five syringes and eight IV bags hidden in his pillow case!"

JD sighed and read his message while Cox rolled his eyes.

"Newbie, have you ever thought of changing profession to something… more suitable?" Cox asked sarcastic. "Like kinder garden teacher, for example. Then you could play with all the other children all day long. But in that case _please_ stay away from the one where I leave Jack, since I would like my son to be there when I pick him up and not stolen like your pager.

"Are you done mocking me for now?" JD asked irritated. "I thought you said that you didn't want to talk to me for long?"

"Yes. But since I'm actually having a lot of fun mocking you, I don't consider this conversation a waste of time." Cox said with a big grin.

"I'm so happy for you." JD replied sarcastic. "But just for your knowledge, I have no intention to quit as a doctor. So I guess that you'll just have to get used to me, Perry. Cause I'm gonna stick around here forever!

JD noticed that his cell phone was ringing.

"And now, if you would excuse me, my phone is ringing." JD explained with dignity.

JD walked away a few meters and then opened his cell phone.

"Y'ello?" JD said.

Silence.

"Hello?" JD asked in confusion. "Anyone there?"

"_You are pathetic."_

JD froze. His face turned deathly pale and his eyes stared in front of him in pure horror.

"Who is this!?" JD yelled in the phone.

"_Nobody cares about you… Why are you even alive?"_

"Stop it." JD demanded with a very shaky voice. "Stop saying that."

"_Think about it… You're useless. You shouldn't be a burden for other people. And you know it. **They** don't **want** you here._

"Shut up!" JD yelled in the phone. "Shut up! SHUT UP!"

"_You don't deserve to live."_

JD's breathing was more irregular now. He seemed to be close to panic.

"That's not true!" JD shouted in the phone and tried to sound like normal. "You… I don't believe you…"

"_But you know it's true_." The voice stated. "It's your thoughts. _You are the one thinking it."_

"Stop! Just stop it..." JD said, his voice an almost pleading.

"_You know it's true. __Because I am you."_

Before JD got a chance to answer, someone snatched to phone away from him. As JD turned around he suddenly was face to face with Dr Cox again, who was standing right behind him. How long he had been standing there,and how much of the conversation he had heard, was impossible to determine. Cox looked at the phone's display and then gave JD a very weird, observing look. Cox presence made JD even more terrified. He avoided any kind of eye contact and looked around nervously, scratching his neck.

"I… I was talking to..." JD improvised. "I don't know him… It was the wrong number, and…"

"This cell phone isn't on." Cox said and held the phone up so that JD could see.

JD stared at the black display in surprise, not sure what to say. Cox eyed JD seriously and flicked the phone shut. He leaned closer to JD's face, checking his pupils. JD instinctively took a step away from him but Cox immediately grabbed his shoulder and kept him in place. JD started to tremble slightly, the cryptic "phone call" still in his memory.

"Cou- could you let go of my arm…" JD tried and made a week attempt to pull away from his mentor.

Cox kept JD in a vice grip and didn't answer. He picked up a penlight and quickly flashed it in JD's eyes. He then put it back in his pocket and observed JD with a grave look on his face. Without one word Cox suddenly grabbed JD's arm in a rough way, and dragged him along the hallway.

"Wait, what… Where are we going…?" JD stammered confused as he tried to keep up with Cox, who got JD's arm in some sort of leash.

"We're going to have a little check up on you, Newbie." Cox stated indifferently. They met a couple of nurses in the corridor, who gave Cox and JD slightly uncertain glances as they passed by. "Just like with your hand earlier, but _this_ time… Oh, _god damn it_!"

Cox pager suddenly went off. He stopped and picked it up with his unoccupied hand to read the message.

"Ok, Newbie. This is what we're going to do." Cox explained with a dead serious voice.

He led JD a few meters away and forced him down in a chair in a waiting room.

"Alright, listen carefully, Rosalie." Cox said with a hand on JD's shoulder and a threatening look. "Daddy is going to leave you here for a few minutes. Don't wander off, don't talk to anyone, and don't follow any strangers even if they _do_ have candy and looks like Santa Claus. So just stay here, and I'll be right back.

Cox handed back JD's phone and then quickly hurried away through the corridor. JD looked confused and leaned his head in his left hand, trying to understand what was happening.

_I can't hear my thoughts properly… All these voices. __Which one is mine?__I can't focus… I'm… I'm scared. I don't know what's happening._

JD looked up and took a deep breath to calm down.

_Concentrate. I'm fine. Everything is fine… Don't panic… I got this under control… But I'm feeling so empty inside. Strange sounds, strange colours… Are these really my thoughts? How would I know? __Why do I get the feeling that I'm trapped? __Nothing makes sense to me…__ I..._

_I think I'm loosing it…_

JD shook his head violently, like if he was trying to get rid of all weird thoughts in his mind.

He looked around at the people in the waiting room, with an exhausted look in his face. He then jumped as he suddenly saw the Janitor entering the room. JD looked startled and instinctively got up from his seat and hurried away in the opposite direction.

_Ok, I think I'm gonna stick with Turk's advice and try to avoid the Janitor today. Oh crap, I hope he didn't see me. __I need a place to hide. Quick._

JD ran through the corridor and almost collided with several doctors and nurses as he passed by.

*******

**Author's note: **Once again, I deeply apologize if I turned you down... I tried my best to make this a good chapter, since it's been a while since the last update, but I'm not sure how it turned out. Judge and comment. ó-ò

**Next time:** Mostly a funny chapter. ^^ With a sharp edge of seriousness in the end. 0.0  
Includes Elliot, Turk and Ted. And a quick visit from Cox. ;)


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note:** I don't have much to say this time. (What!?! Must be the first time ever. 0.0) So I'll take the opportunity to appologize for some things:  
Firstly, I have no knowledge about how hospitals works. Secondly, I'm not exactly sure what duties doctor's and nurses have. Most things are pure guesses from my side, and I hope that it won't offend anyone that actually know about these things. I'm just trying to tell a story. ^^

**Note:** I still don't own a single character in this fic. :D  
Don't sue. I'm poor... ó.ò

*******

Turk was running through the hallways, looking for something. He suddenly stopped at the doctors' lounge and quickly got inside. His eyes immediately found Elliot, who was standing beside the couch in which Ted was seated. She seemed to be examining his right hand.

"Elliot! Have you seen JD?" Turk asked.

"Hmm… Nope, not today." Elliot answered.

"You sure?" Turk asked and raised one eye brow.

"Positive." Elliot answered and returned her attention to Ted's hand. "Why do you ask? Is it important? I can give him a message if I see him.

"Na, it's ok." Turk said and looked around in the room. "It's just that Carla asked me to keep an eye on him. But I haven't seen the dude for hours!"

"May I…" Ted began.

"_No_ Ted." Elliot snapped. "For the last time, I will _not_ give you any sedative for this! This wound only needs cleaning, that's all. It will be over in two minutes max.

Turk looked confused at the lawyer's hand as Elliot picked up a bottle with antiseptic and a cotton tissue.

"What happened to your hand?" Turk asked Ted.

"Bitten by an angry weasel…" Ted mumbled with a gloomy look.

Turk gave him a "wtf" look and glanced at Elliot who simply shrugged. Obviously, she stopped caring ages ago.

"Why does Carla want you to keep an eye on JD, by the way?" Elliot asked with a frown.

"I think I…" Ted began.

"Ted, I said _no_." Elliot cut him off. "Stop being such a Wuss… What were you saying Turk?"

"Well, Carla said that JD had been acting strangely, so I wanna find him and ask him what's going on. Just to make sure that he's ok."

Turk sighed and looked around in the room while scratching his head.

"I thought I would find him here munching on a muffin or something…"

"Aaooaouch!" Ted whined. Elliot rolled her eyes.

"It only hurts because you're not sitting still!" Elliot scolded. "I'm trying to be as careful as I can!"

"Come to think of it…" Turk hesitated as he started to realizing something. "JD has hurt his right hand too…"

"What?" Elliot asked surprised and accidentally knocked over the bottle with antiseptic. Ted caught it just in time, but Elliot didn't even notice.

"Yeah!" Turk said seriously. "I had no idea until Carla told me. She said that he was trying to hide it."

"Why would he do that?" Elliot asked skeptically. "It's JD we're talking about, right? I bet that he would use it to get sympathy from the cute nurses."

Turk suddenly slapped his forehead.

"Of course!" Turk called out and looked like he just had seen Jesus. "JD probably got bitten by that weasel too! _That's_ why he keeps it hidden! He's clearly too embarrassed over it to tell anyone!"

"You know… That sounds weird enough to actually have happened." Elliot admitted, and then gave away an involuntarily shiver. "Ugh… Someone should catch that ferret-thingy before it attacks someone else…"

"That won't happen." Ted pointed out.

"What do you mean?" Elliot asked.

"Because he's been in my suitcase for hours now…"

Ted held up his suitcase for the others to see. It was rattling and squeaking with a distinct noise of tiny, running feet.

"YOU HAVE IT IN YOUR BAG!? Elliot screamed and jumped up from the floor and ran in panic to hide behind Turk, who had taken several steps back.

"I just couldn't let him out yet…" Ted said. "I'm actually starting to kinda like him… I'm thinking about keeping him as a pet."

"Dude! Those things have _rabies_!" Turk yelled in a high pitched voice and pointed at the suitcase.

"No, not Jerry." Ted answered. "He seems to be very healthy for a weasel…"

The suitcase suddenly went deathly quiet. Turk eyed it suspiciously and Elliot peeped out from his right shoulder.

"That's weird…" Ted said and carefully shook the suitcase briefly, listening closely. "He hasn't been this quiet before."

"Ted, are there any breathing holes in that suitcase?" Turk wanted to know.

Ted seemed to be considering this, and then his eyes boggled with shock.

"Oh god... no! Jerry!" Ted cried out and opened the bag.

"No, no, no, no, TED!!" Elliot screamed, but too late.

A red brownish speed of light burst out from the bag and in to the room. Elliot screamed in pure panic and jumped up on the table. Turk ran to the other side of the room, chased by the furious weasel. Ted didn't know what to do, until "Jerry" suddenly turned around and set course at his direction instead, making Ted quickly jump up on the table with Elliot.

"_Turk_! Do something!" Elliot yelled and gripped the TV remote control, holding it as some sort of weapon.

Turk was looking through a lower cupboard and dragged out a frying pan, which he gripped with his both hands and stared manically around in all directions. The weasel popped up from under the sofa and ran towards Turk with a hissing squeaky noise, like if it was charging for an attack. Turk panicked and simply threw the frying pan at the tiny, furry missile. He missed it completely, but hit a small table instead, knocking it over.

"TURK!" Elliot screamed hysterically.

Turk quickly reached for something in a drawer and picked up a soup spoon. He tried to smack the weasel with the new weapon, but it was too fast. The whole act looked like some kind of bizarre version of "whack a mole". The weasel skillfully left every spot that Turk was aiming for, and Elliot had now started to cry.

The weasel once again ran towards it's attacker, and Turk managed to jump out of the way as the weasel scattered inside the open cupboard. Turk acted instinctively and threw himself towards it, and banged the door close with his body.

"Phew..." Turk panted and leaned his back towards the cupboard. "If Carla _ever_ talks about buying a ferret again, I want a divorce."

Elliot got down from the table, still trembling with shock. Ted sat down in the couch and looked as gloomy as ever.

Then the door to the room suddenly slammed open, causing Elliot to scream again in surprise and Turk to look up in shock. Dr Cox had entered the doctor's lounge, seemingly in a really bad mood. He searched the room with his eyes, much like Turk had done when he entered, and then he turned to Elliot and Ted.

"Where the _hell_ is Newbie?" He asked angrily.

Turk and Elliot looked at each other.

"Why are you asking?" Elliot wondered.

"Oh, I don't know, Barbie. Could it be because I am _looking_ for him?" Cox replied annoyed.

"I'm looking for him too!" Turk pointed out.

Cox observed Turk who was still sitting on the floor.

"And doing a great job too, I can see." Cox said.

Turk noticed that he was still on the floor and quickly got up on his feet, dropping the spoon to the floor.

"Good idea to look through the cupboards, Gandhi. Did you find him?"

"Yes." Turk answered in a tired sarcastic voice.

A rattling noise was suddenly heard from the cupboard. Cox raised an eyebrow and stared at it.

"Ah… That's not JD." Turk pointed out to clarify things.

"It's a weasel." Ted added, to clarify what Turk tried to clarify.

"You didn't answer my question!" Elliot interrupted accusingly. "_Why_ are you looking for JD? You usually try your best to avoid him."

"Firstly, I intend to kill him for not obeying my orders." Cox informed with a threatening voice. "Secondly, Newbie is…"

"Dude, can't you use his _real name_ just for once? Turk cut him off.

"They way he's been acting today, I would be surprised if your boyfriend _knows_ his real name when I find him." Cox answered seriously.

"And what is that suppose to mean?" Elliot asked with a puzzled smile.

Cox looked from Turk to Elliot with a surprised face.

"Haven't… Well, _any_ of you guys, noticed that there's something wrong going on with the kid…?" Cox asked and frowned.

Elliot and Turk shared a confused look and Cox raised an eye brow in pretended surprise.

"Wow, I must admit that I found this… Really confusing. Since the _last_ time I checked, you people claimed to be... I don't know, friends to him?"

"Come on…" Turk said. "The guy is constantly narrating his own life! JD is supposed to be a little odd. That's just the way he is."

"Perhaps." Cox answered and folded his arms with a grave expression. "But if _I_ was a friend to him, which I must clarify is not _my_ gig in this drama but _yours_, ladies, and found him in the corridor, talking… no wait; _yelling_ in a turned off cell phone, I would start worrying now."

Elliot just stared at Cox and Turk looked utterly shocked over this news, not sure what to say. Cox continued, still with a serious look on his face.

"I don't know _exactly_ what's going on with him… Only that this sounds pretty damn serious to me."

"Okay, Cox's right." Turk admitted with a concerned look. "We definitely need to find him."

"I can help!" Elliot volunteered.

"Hey, that's a great idea Barbie!" Cox said in mock enthusiasm. "You know what, I think I've actually read somewhere that crazy people is drawn to each others, much like bugs is to light."

Elliot looked completely flabbergasted and attempted to reply to Cox's insult, but one glare from the older doctor made her hesitate and then go quiet.

"When was the last time any of you saw him today?" Cox asked with a tired voice and closed his eyes.

"Maybe three hours ago…" Turk answered uncertainly.

"Haven't seen him all day." Elliot mumbled quietly.

Cox opened his eyes and stared at them in disbelief.

"Well, ain't that _terrific!"_ He exclaimed frustrated. "Not a single one of you have…"

"I think he was acting weird earlier today…" Ted suddenly interrupted.

Everyone in the room stared at Ted, who jumped at the unexpected attention and looked like he immediately regretted saying something out loud at all.

"Have _you_ met JD today?" Turk asked, like if he was interviewing someone that claimed to have seen Elvis.

"Why didn't you say anything before!" Elliot scolded.

"I _tried_…" Ted muttered. "But you interrupted me everytime I tried to say anything..."

"Keep on, Ted." Cox said with a serious but interested voice. "Exactly, _what_ were you trying to tell Barbie and Gandhi earlier?"

Ted didn't seem to be very keen on telling them about his observations at all. But with three pairs of staring eyes, and no where to run, the number of choices was quite limited.

"Well…" Ted started hesitantly. "I don't know him as well as you do. So I should probably just be quiet… My opinion is probably not worth…

"For the love of god, spill it Eeyore!" Cox yelled impatiently.

"Oh, Eeyore is so cute…!" Elliot began, but went quiet when she saw Cox's annoyed expression.

"Well?" Cox angrily asked Ted.

"Alright…" Ted mumbled reluctantly. "You see, earlier today when you showed up to speak with Dorian, we talked a little. It was not for long, because then Kelso yelled at me, and I dropped my glasses, and then he yelled at me again…

Ted noticed a growing irritation within Cox, and so quickly continued with the relevant part of the story.

"But, before you arrived, Dorian asked me something. If it wasn't for the circumstances I would probably don't care about it, but as it is now…"

"What did he ask?" Turk wanted to know.

Ted shifted a little in the couch.

"Well…" Ted began. "I don't remember the exact words… But he kind of asked me if I've ever heard a voice in my head telling me to hurt or kill myself."

The room went deathly quiet. Everyone stared at Ted in silence as puzzle pieces was slowly put together and started to create a very unsettling image… Ted looked uncertainly at the others and then decided to simply stare at the floor.

"I don't know… You are his friends. You tell if that's his normal behavior or not…" He mumbled.

"So the reason why he was on the roof today was probably to… Elliot said and suddenly looked terrified. "Oh god…!"

"And as I mentioned before, I don't think that Jerry is the one who have hurt his hand…" Ted implied.

"Turk!" Elliot suddenly yelled. "Call him! Call him _now_!"

"Don't bother." Cox stated with a grim voice. "He probably still has the darn phone turned off."

Turk pressed a button on his cell phone and a weak sound of JD's answering machine was heard. Turk flicked the phone shut with an angry "damn!".

"Do _you_ have a better idea?!" Elliot asked Cox in irritation, very close to panic.

Cox hesitated for a second before he turned to Turk.

"Gandhi, try to page him." Cox suggested.

"I've been trying to page him for over an hour! Turk replied frustrated and pointed at his own pager. "He doesn't answer!

Elliot stared at Turk and covered her mouth with her hands as a sign of growing fear. Cox gritted his teeth like a person that was slowly being tortured by something.

"Oh my god…" Elliot said with a thick voice.

"… Shit." Cox muttered under his breath and then turned to Turk with a serious look and made a gesture to the door. "You. Come with me. _Now_!"

Turk nodded and the two doctors rushed out from the room.

"Wait! What can I do!?" Elliot screamed after them.

"Stay here in case he shows up!" Cox shouted in the doorway. "_Don't_ tell Carla! Come on, let's go."

Turk and Cox ran out in the corridor and left behind a terrified Elliot and a confused Ted, that hadn't quite understood what he had to do with this yet.

*******

**Author's note:** Yay! What a cliffhanger! =D But I wonder if this chapter turned out any good? 0-o I'm not gonna point out what details I disliked, cause then you will only notice them... ^^;

**Next time:** We get to see where JD decided to hide, and the Janitor might find him... Or will Cox and Turk get to him first? What do I know? I'm only the author. :)  
Not at all a funny chapter... Creepy and serious. Angst, angsty...


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's note:** I'm so sorry for the delay... Again! T_T I hope that this isn't becoming a bad habit of mine... (Another one that will say, besides my "sleep to 3PM" habit...)  
I hope that I haven't given you all false hope now. I really wanted this one to be good, but I think I blew it somewhere... Anyway, if at all possible, enjoy. ^^

**Note:** Neither Scrubs, nor any of these characters is created by me. If they were, I would make real episodes and not just fanfics. Who can see the logic in that?

*******

JD was sitting in a corner in the morgue, with his face buried in his knees. There were four bodies lying in the room on different tables, covered with white sheets. The room was quite grayish and gloomy, with a dim light glowing weakly, contributing in making the atmosphere more unsettling. He looked up meekly, seemingly a bit dazed and tired.

_Where am I…? What is this…?_

JD looked puzzled for one moment before he quickly got up on his feet and stared at his surroundings in panic.

_What the heck is this place!? Wait, calm down... It's the morgue. It's just the morgue. What the hell am I doing in the morgue!? How did I get here?_

JD shook his head in an attempt to sort his confused thoughts.

_I guess that Cox is right__. I probably __should__ get this brain switched out__. __To a brand new one with super cool special devices and…_

JD was just about to zone out, but then hesitated and shivered.

_No! Stupid, faulty brain… Do as I say! I don't want to space out in a creepy daydream that will just make me sick and feel awful…_

JD looked around in the room.

_Why on earth did I go here? I don't like this place… Weird; I've probably been down here a dozen of times, but I can't remember that it ever has made me feel this… __Uneasy before…_

JD suddenly jumped and stared at one of the bodies.

_Dear god…! __Did that thing just move?_

JD shut his eyes and smacked his forehead with his left hand.

_Oh, come on JD! They're dead__! Dead, dead, and absolutely dead!__ It's all in your stupid, weird, __brain__! Pull yourself together. You got work to do. There are patients up there__, __living__ ones__, which you are supposed to take care of. _

JD gave the closest corpse a nervous look. He had to pass it to get to the door. Considering the shape, the dead body seemed to be a male. JD took a deep breath.

_You're being ridiculous! Just walk pass it! It's not like when you were a kid __and Dan used to scare you with stories about zombies that lived in our basement. Well,__ he __did__ lock me in there once…__I've never been so scared in my whole life. I think mom slapped him that time…_

Suddenly, the corpse's hand shot out and grabbed JD's arm. JD's eyes boggled in shock and he screamed in terror. He tried to pull his arm away, but the corpse's hand was holding on to it like if it had rooted itself there.

"LET GO OF ME!" JD screamed in panic. "LET GO…!"

A sudden flash, and then everything was back to normal. JD was standing several feet away from the corpse, which were as still as ever. There were no evidence that anything had happened at all.

"It… It wasn't real." JD whispered in surprise.

_How could that happen? I didn't space out… It wasn't a daydream. __It felt more… more real... _

JD gave away an involuntary shiver.

_Great… I'm trembling of fright because of a horrible hallucination… Since when did I become a nutcase? Wait, d__idn't I crush a mirror earlier…?_

JD start to grow even more terrified and he glanced anxiously at the four dead bodies in the dim lighted room.

_I better get out of here… __I'm starting to feel sick. I don't like this place. It's something wrong with the atmosphere__… I bet that if Cox had been here __he would love to point out how girly I am for acting this scared__. __Why do I get the feeling that they want to hurt me…?_

JD swallowed and started to carefully move away towards the exit.

_You're being paranoid again, JD. It's just dead bodies. __They can't move and they can't hurt you__. Just __sneak out really quickly and get back to work__. Leave this behind and just forget about it._

JD finally reached the door and sighed in relief. He gripped the door handle and...  
The door didn't budge.

JD stared at it in surprise and tried again. Nothing.  
A feeling of panic was slowly coming over JD as he jerked the handle several times and tried to push the heavy door open with his left shoulder.

"Come on…!" JD muttered and gave the door another tackle, followed by a kick. "Come on! What the hell is…?"

When JD's eyes looked at the tiny window in the door, he jumped at a face that suddenly popped up from nowhere.

The Janitor.

"Hey!" JD shouted. "Can you please help me out?"

"Hmm… No can do." The Janitor answered simply.

"What do you mean!" JD asked and looked around his shoulder at the dead bodies. The sheets seemed to have moved… "Can't you check what's wrong with the door?"

"Yeah, there's a mop blocking the handle." The Janitor informed.

JD stared at him as he slowly started to realize the situation.

"Then move it!" JD yelled and gave the door another hard push.

"Nah… I don't think so." The Janitor said and looked around nonchalantly. "I got to go and clean the fourth floor. It's a big floor I'm telling ya. It's probably gonna take all day."

"Remove the mop and let me out!" JD screamed and hit the door with his left fist. "What the hell is your problem!?"

"Nothing." The Janitor said with a slightly annoyed voice. "It's just that I don't appreciate it when people destroys the hospital's property. Well, at least not when I'm the one who has to clean it up… Next time you want to break a mirror, don't choose one on my floors. Kapisch?"

"Didn't you give Ted the blame for that?" JD asked and tried to nudge the handle off the mop as he kept staring nervously behind his back at the corpses, which seemed to be more movable than expected.

"Not really… I had a weasel, and was bored." The Janitor exclaimed. "And I hoped that it would give you a false sense of security."

_I haven't felt secure the whole day, moron! My mind__ is trying to kill me!_

"Please let me out!" JD yelled again, kicking the door. "Take this another day, or punish me with something else, I DON'T KNOW! Just not here! Not now!"

"Hey, this is an unusually light punishment from me, you know." The Janitor said, slightly offended. "You doctors kill patients all the time. Someone will find you here eventually. Probably today. And technically, you won't even have to starve in there."

The Janitor took a look at his watch.

"Nope, that's enough talking for me. _One_ of us got a job to do. Take care." The Janitor greeted as he began to leave.

"No! Wait! Don't leave me here!" JD yelled and quickly turned around.

The bodies were now sitting up on their tables. The sheets were still covering them, making them look like ghosts. JD's eyes boggled with fear and he started to pull the handle with both his hands. Desperately trying to get the object blocking it to let go.

"HELP!" JD screamed and kept on pushing the door and yanked the handle. "Let me out…!"

JD turned around and froze at the sight in front of him. The corpses were now standing beside the tables they had been laying on only seconds ago. The sheets had fallen to the floor. Their dead faces were looking at him.

JD launched himself at the door with a loud bang as he hit the metal. He threw his body at it repeatedly in a desperate attempt to open it. Completely ignoring the pain it caused him.

The four corpses had began to walk towards him. Slowly, with staring empty eyes, they were getting closer.

"No, no, no, NO!" JD yelled and started to hit the door with his fists. "PLEASE LET ME OUT OF HERE!!"

JD kept punching, kicking and tackle the door, like an animal trying to escape from a cage. His right hand was beginning to leave bloody marks with every hit.

"I haven't done you anything!" JD yelled to the dead bodies and pressed his body to the door and kept on punching it with his bleeding fists. "I haven't killed you! Leave me alone! Go away! GO AWAY!!!"

JD looked away and shut his eyes hard, trying to ignore them. He didn't want to look at them. He kept punching and hitting the door. His whole body was aching from his efforts.. His right hand was now soaked in blood and had left a big red mark on the door. His eyes started to water due to the pain. His left hand was bruised from his violent attempts to pull the handle, but he kept punching.

JD had lost track of time. He couldn't even hear his own screams anymore.

But then he suddenly fell forward. JD felt arms around him and hands that were trying to hold him still and keep him from falling to the floor. JD panicked and tried to get away from them. He tossed and turned, desperately trying to get free. He kept on screaming, even though he didn't have any more air in his lungs. His breathing was irregular and every inhale seemed to be a great struggle for him.

"JD!" Turk yelled. "God, he can't breathe...!"

"He's hyperventilating." Cox explained. "For the love of god, Newbie! CALM DOWN!"

But JD just kept trashing about. Turk pinned JD's body to the floor, trying to keep him still and Cox tried to grab his arms to prevent him from accidentally hurting himself furthermore.

"Let go of me!" JD screamed in panic and tried to free himself. "Leave me alone! Please! GET AWAY FROM ME!"

"_Newbie_!" Cox yelled. "For god's sake, stop flinging your arms around before you hurt yourself!"

Cox successfully forced JD's arms down to the floor, making him unable to move, but he was still kicking violently, trying to get away from them.

"JD! It's just us!" Turk explained, still trying to keep his friend still. "Calm down, bro! It's ok. We want to help you!"

"Get off me!" JD screamed with an exhausted voice. "Go away! Let go off me...!

"Newbie, listen to me! LISTEN TO ME!" Cox yells.

But JD wasn't listening. His mind was completely occupied with telling him to protect himself. He just knew that whoever these arms and voices belonged to, they were definitely trying to hurt him.

"For the love off…" Cox muttered aggravated. "Gandhi! Try to keep him down."

Turk pinned down JD with his body to prevent him from flinging around too much, and Cox hurried towards a cupboard in a near located examining room. He searched through a drawer and picked up a bottle and a needle. He quickly returned to the other two doctors and kneeled beside JD, who was still squirming and trying to get away from them.

"What the heck are you doing?" Turk wanted to know.

"He is suffering from a panic attack. If he keeps on like this he's gonna hurt himself even more than he already have." Cox said and began to fill the syringe. "Hopefully this should do the trick… Try to keep him still."

"Easier said than done…!" Turk panted as he tried to keep a very struggling JD in place. "Maybe he calms down if we let him go…?

"Gandhi, look at his _hand_!" Cox said with a serious look, nodding at JD's right hand that is pretty much soaked in blood by now. "And by the look of that pretty obvious red mark on the door, this kid has literally punched the stitches off. And _God_ knows how long he's been in there... The only reason why I _ever_ would let him loose right now would be if the corridor was stocked with pillows! Here. Give me his left arm…

Cox took a firm grip around one of JD's arms and pulled up the sleeve. JD squirmed and screamed, frenetically trying to get away, but Turk's efforts kept him in place. Cox wrapped his own arm around JD's to prevent it from move around too much.

"Stop it! STOP IT! JD yelled, like if he was being tortured. "Let go off me! Please! LET ME GO!"

Cox ignored him and concentrated on finding a vein to inject the drug in. He spotted one at last, and then gave JD the shot.

JD gritted his teeth due to the sudden sharp pain, but his efforts to escape seemed to weaken for every second. His kicking was getting fainter and he soon stopped tossing around completely. Turk helped him up in a somewhat semi sitting position, using the wall as support.

"Take a deep breath, Newbie." Cox instructed as JD gasped for air. "Breathe slowly. Take it easy… "

JD's head feebly tilted to one side. His eyes was closed and he looked exhausted. He began to feel lightheaded, possibly because of the lack of oxygen.

"Let's get him out of here." Cox decided and got to his feet, panting slightly after the struggle.

"I… _don't_ think that he can walk." Turk pointed out.

"I'll get a gurney." Cox said. "Let him get some rest. He'll probably need it. And give Barbie a call and tell her that we've found him, will ya? Before she chews off every single fingernail she got…"

Turk nodded and Cox hurried away. JD hadn't heard a word of the conversation since he had already drifted away into deep sleep.

***

**Author's note:** There. This was probably not worth waiting two weeks for... Sorry guys for the long waiting. ó-ò I'll try to put up the next one as soon as I can. If you still want to read this, that is... Hm...

**Next time:** A pretty calm chapter (Maybe it's needed after this one?). JD has some explaining to do. To Carla, Elliot, Turk, and Cox, that is. ;)


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's note: **As a compensate for the ridiculously long wait for the eight chapter, I've been working extra hard to get this one up _in time_ for once. ^^; And hopefully, the quality didn't suffer because of it. Please tell me if anything's bad. ó.ò So that I'll know till next time. Or if something's good, so that I'll know _that_ till next time.  
Anyhow. I hope you'll like it. ^^ And thanks to everyone that have reviewed the story so far!! =D

**Note:** This chapter is long as it is without me assuring people that I don't own Scrubs.

*******

_Oh, my head…_

_My body feels so heavy… I can't move._

JD slowly raised his head and squinted at the bright light.

_What a weird dream… __I was chased by zombies and then Dan suddenly showed up and stabbed me with a fork. And I think mom was chasing him with a mop…_

JD made an attempt to get up, but weakly fell back and hit something soft. He was lying in a hospital bed.

"For god's sake, Newbie…! Lie still, will ya?"

JD immediately forced his eyes open and tried to make out Cox's blurry figure, who was sitting right next to him. The older doctor was once again attending to JD's wounded right hand.

"Cox…?" JD said and narrowed his eyes to try and clear his vision.

Cox huffed a little in reply but before JD got a chance to say anything Elliot's voice was heard 10 centimeters away from his left ear.

"JD!" Elliot screamed and hugged him tightly. "It's so good to see you! Are you okay?"

"No…!" JD answered with a muffled voice. "…You're choking me…"

"Oh, sorry…" Elliot quickly retaliated and JD took a deep breath.

"Barbie, if you _have_ to squeeze the poor life out of something, could you do that to… Well, _anything_ that I'm not trying to stitch back together again?"

JD now noticed that Cox was currently stitching up the nasty cut-wound on his right hand again. JD couldn't really remember how it had looked like the last time, but he suspected that it looked worse...  
He also noticed that he was still wearing his scrubs. The right sleeve was stained with blood, but the thing that worried him the most wasn't the fact that he had blood on his cloths. It was the fact that he couldn't recall _why _he had blood on his cloths..

"How long have I been here?" JD asked in confusion.

"Almost two hours." Cox answered and gave JD a suspicious look. "Do you… Have _any_ memories of what happened earlier?"

JD looked up, thinking carefully.

_This feels awfully familiar… It's like when I was on the roof… Some kind of blackout, __I can't even remember how I got here__._

But instead of answering Cox's question, JD glanced at his right hand.

"I know that I don't remember my hand hurting this much…" JD said with a curious frown.

"_That_ is most likely because of two things, Theresa." Cox answered without looking up. "Firstly, you have recently spent quite some time banging your hand silly against a solid metal _door_, almost breaking several bones in it. And with great success tearing up every single one of those stitches I applied just a few hours ago. Secondly: when I asked _Barbie_ here to fix it, since I'm a very busy man and don't really have time to "hang" here with you girls, she decided to pierce your hand with the needle. So I had to take over, to save your hand from becoming a pincushion...

"I was nervous!" Elliot yelled in a high pitched voice, making JD wince in pain.

"Don't care." Cox answered indifferently as he finished the job and got up from his chair. "There. That should do it. And try to take _care_ of that hand now, or I'll just chop it off and replace it with a childproof one.

JD curiously studied the hand from every angle.

"Thank you." JD called gratefully to Cox who was going through a drawer.

"Yeah, don't mention it…" Cox mumbled indifferently and opened another drawer.

"What are you doing?" JD asked tilting his head curiously.

"I'm just gonna take a small blood sample on you, kid." Cox muttered and finally found what he was looking for. "To rule out some things…"

Cox turned back to JD with a hypodermic needle to extract some blood with. JD simply stared at him. A flashback suddenly appeared before his eyes, with Cox stabbing him with a syringe in the morgue.

_Dead patients. Can't get out. Wants to kill me. Forcing me down. Can't breathe! No air. Can't breathe!!!_

JD involuntarily flinched away from Cox when he took a step closer to the bed. Cox gave him a suspicious look when JD tried to move away as far as he could from him without leaving the bed. This pretty much ended with JD curled up at his right nightstand, beside a confused Elliot.

Cox observed JD for a moment with a strange look, but then gave the needle to an even more confused Elliot Reid.

"Here you go, Barbie." Cox said. "Take a blood sample and then deliver it to the lab immediately. And _try_ to remember that this time, you are _supposed_ to puncture the skin, so don't try to stitch him with that thing, will ya?

"I know!" Elliot answered in annoyance.

"Good." Cox said and then turned around to the door. "… I'm gonna have a little chat with Kelso..."

As soon as Cox was about to put his hand on the handle, the door suddenly burst open without warning, and Carla rushed in.

"Bambi!" She yelled and ran towards JD, with Turk not far behind. Cox let out an annoyed growl before he left the room and the noisy crowd.

"Carla…" Turk began, trying to calm her down.

"How are you feeling?" Carla demanded to know. "Turk just told me about everything, oh Bambi…!"

"Told you what…?" JD asked, honestly confused.

Carla stared at him, equally confused.

"You don't remember?" Carla asked with a frown. "Bambi… Are you alright…?"

Carla instinctively placed a hand on JD's forehead but he shook it of lightly.

"It's ok, Carla." JD assured her with a smile. "I'm fine."

"Dude, you were not fine one hour ago." Turk stated.

"I'm _fine_." JD repeated firmly. "There's nothing to worry about.

_I guess that I should try and avoid mentioning to them that I'm suffering from a mayor memory loss..._

"JD, that's not your thing to decide." Carla said threateningly. "Of course you think that you're fine! You're a doctor! You lot are worse than parrots…"

"But I really mean it, Carla! I'm feeling good. Except from that my hand hurts pretty badly, it's nothing…AAOUCH!

"Sorry, JD..." Elliot apologized anxiously.

"Elliot, why? JD asked accusingly and rubbed the place where Elliot had perforated his skin. "Aren't you supposed to aim for a vein…?"

"_I'm nervous!"_ Elliot yelled, making everyone in the room wince in pain.

"Elliot… Here. Give it to me..." Carla said, very similar to someone who is trying to talk a gunman to drop his weapon. Elliot seemed

to accept this decision without any objections and handed the needle reluctantly over to Carla.

"So, bro. How is your hand?" Turk asked and glanced at it.

"Could do better with some morphine…" JD answered and winced a little at the pain when Carla inserted the needle into a vein. "But if I complain too much, Cox might chop it off and switch it too a childproof one."

"Hey, I wonder what those would look like!" Turk laughed and winked at JD.

Turk kept staring at JD, like if he was expecting something. But JD just looked back at his friend, not sure what he was waiting for.

"What?" JD asked. "What's wrong?"

"Oh. Um, nothing… Turk answered, looking surprised. "It's just... It sounded exactly like something that would make you zone out and daydream about...

"Ha, ha, really?" JD laughed a little nervously.

_Well, what do you know? __Good brain! I guess y__ou actually __do__ listen to me sometimes. Perhaps you aren't as faulty as Cox thinks?_

"Alright, I'll take this to the lab." Elliot informed when Carla gave her a glass tube with JD's blood, and hurried away to the door.

"Where's Elliot going with my blood?" JD asked with a casual voice.

"I think Cox wants to check if it's positive for drugs or something like that." Turk answered.

"Drugs?" JD asked in disbelief. "That's ridiculous. I could have told you that it's not…"

"Dude, don't worry." Turk interrupted. "Cox thinks that the Janitor might have nicked something from the pharmacy and put it in your food. And we think that he was the one who locked you in earlier.

Turk patted JD reassuringly on the shoulder.

"And come on... You know Cox. He would probably even test Jack for drugs if he thought that he was acting that weird…"

"What do you mean "act that weird"?" JD wanted to know.

Turk and Carla shared a hesitant look and JD felt a little frustrated.

"Turk. What exactly do you mean with _weird_?" JD asked again.

Turk looked slightly uneasy and didn't answer right away. And Carla had gone to throw away the used needle. JD stared at them both with a growing irritation.

"Ok, ok! I admit it!" JD said annoyed. "I don't have a clue how I got here! I can't remember _anything_ of what have happened the last hours, so could you _please_ enlighten me on what exactly I have done, that makes you guys think that I'm on drugs?!"

_Oops. I didn't mean to say that. Too much information… But I have to know. This is getting uncomfortable… __If I have been running around the whole hospital, acting like I'm high on something, I think I need to know about it._

Turk sighed and looked JD straight into the eyes.

"We found you in the morgue. Remember anything of that?"

JD seemed a little surprised at this information and searched his mind with a curious frown, trying to remember.

"No… Well, yeah. I… I think I was in the morgue… I had a dream that I was in the morgue… Wait, what the hell were I doing in the morgue!?"

"Beats me." Turk replied and shrugged.

"If I was in the morgue... How on earth did you even find me in the first place? JD asked with a frown.

"Dude, you were _screaming_." Turk explained with a serious voice. "It didn't really take a bloodhound to find you. And Ted gave us a hunch where to look."

"Ted?" JD asked looking surprised.

_I wonder why it never occurred to me that Ted could count as someone that I probably should __not__ have told all this to__. Maybe because I find it kinda hard even __imagining Ted as a threat? And no voice in my head tried to stop me from talking to him, __so I guess my brain didn't see this coming either._

"Right on." Turk confirmed. "Do you remember that you talked to him?"

"Yeah, I think so…" JD answered. "I'm just not sure what happened _after_ that…"

"Anyhow, he told us that you had been talking to him about… Well…"

Turk seemed very uncertain of how to explain this.

" … He said… That you had talked to him about killing yourself." Turk said, eying JD carefully, like if he expected JD to run for the window and jump out any second. "It was Cox's idea to check either morgue or the roof. I didn't really get _why_, but he was right. We heard your screams in the corridor and found the door to the morgue blocked with a mop, and then we got you out. Simple as that.

"If it really was "simple as that" why am I lying here in a hospital bed with an aching body and ripped up hand…?" JD asked with a suspicious look.

"Well… You didn't exactly _stop_ screaming when we got you out..." Turk explained.

"What do you mean?"

"Dude, you were in panic!" Turk answered with an upset gesture. "You were screaming your guts out, like if someone were trying to kill you! We tried to talk to you, but you just kicked and struggled and I don't even think you recognized us. It was like you thought that we were trying to hurt you or something like that. Anyhow, it was impossible to reach out to you. _And_ you were hyperventilating. _Really_ bad, I thought you were gonna pass out. So Cox decided that the best thing to do was to sedate you before you hurt yourself anymore... Man, you should have seen your hand…! It was blood everywhere! You must have spent 15 minutes trying to beat that door open. And that's probably why your body is so bruised up.

JD instantly lifted up his shirt and took a look at his chest. He had several purple colored bruises from the numerous of times he had tried to tackle the door open.

_Trying to kill me... Forcing me down... Can't breathe. _

_Ok, __now__ I remember…_

"JD…" Carla said. making JD jump a little at her voice. She sat down at his left side and looked at him. Worried and serious. "JD… Is it true what Ted said earlier? In any case, you are clearly hiding something from us. Please. You got to tell us what's going on.

_No I don't._

JD shifted a little uncomfortably in his bed.

"Tell you what, exactly? He asked, trying to sound like normal.

"Tell us what's _wrong_." Carla said with begging eyes. "This has already gone too far. Bambi, whatever it is that's troubles you, please tell us so that we can help you."

"She's right, man." Turk pointed out. "I've already rescued you _twice_ today. The least you can do is to tell me what the hell is going on with you."

_Ok, I can see the logic in that…_

_Maybe I __should__ tell them everything? What harm can it do?_

_Me. It would harm __me__. I don't know how, I just know that it will..._

_Ok, I can't see any logic in __that__…__ Haven't I already tried to kill myself once, and hurt myself several times, only today?_

_Agh…My head is killing me…__ I don't know what to do. __Ok, I've changed my mind. I __need__ to get this brain switched out. __Maybe I should ba__ng it aga__inst a mirror and hope that I still got t__he guarant__ee left somewhere…_

"… I _think_ that I'm loosing my mind…" JD said with a normal voice.

_Crap, I wasn't supposed to say that! Rew__ind! Rewind! Damn, why can't my life have a remote control…!_

Turk stared at him and Carla moved closer to the bed with a worried look.

"Bambi, why do you think that?" Carla asked seriously.

"I… I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" JD began, but didn't really know what to say. "Just… Forget what I said! Okay?!"

_Damn, did I yell that? I didn't mean to yell…__Great, now they'll definitely think that I'm a nutcase__. Nice work JD. Why don't you just __wander out that door, down to the parking lot, and lie down under a bus. That would make everything __so__ much simpler._

"What I'm trying to say is…" JD began. "It… It was a joke… I was just joking. I mean, I've been _acting_ a little bit crazy today, right?"

JD laughed a little, but neither Turk nor Carla looked any convinced at all.

"I'm just screwing with you." JD said. "Get it? That's all."

"No it's not."

Everybody turned around and Elliot was suddenly standing in the doorway and gave JD a serious, and a little angry, look.

"Man, Elliot. You are _fast_!" Turk pointed out and looked very impressed.

"Thank you Turk!" Elliot replied happily and skipped towards them. "I used to run two hours before school, just to be sure that I wouldn't be too fat for that _really_ cute dress that I had picked for prom…

Elliot suddenly realized that she accidentally had changed the subject, and immediately turned back to JD.

"And _you_ are terrible liar!" She said and pointed a threatening finger at JD.

"Excuse me…?" JD asked a bit confused.

"JD, you can't seriously think that we haven't noticed that something is wrong? Elliot said.

"Elliot… You said yourself that you haven't even _seen_ JD today…" Turk pointed out.

"Turk! Not helping!" Elliot hissed and Turk quickly took a step back.

"Elliot is right." Carla interrupted. "You can't hide this anymore. You might just as well tell the truth and be honest with us. Can't you please do that…?"

JD wasn't sure what to do. Everyone was looking at him and it made him really uncomfortable.

_Just do it. Tell them everything. You can't go on like this…_

_Don't do it! Do not tell them! __It's a secret,__they can't know about this! Don't tell them anything!_

_Come on... They managed to figure it all out anyway. There IS nothing more to hide! It's over. It's all over._

"W… What do you want to know…?" JD stammered, looking down on the bed covers.

"Why don't you start from the beginning?" Carla suggested.

"Yeah…" JD nodded. "Um, well... I'm not sure exactly _where_ it begins…"

JD searched through his mind.

"I _think_ it might have started with... Well, to begin with, I haven't slept very well the whole week…"

_Stop telling them! Stop this right here, right now! Don't say one more word!_

"… I've had some nightmares, and I don't think I've got much sleep at all these days…" JD continued a bit nervously. "… Or, rather no sleep at all actually…

"What kind of nightmares?" Elliot asked concerned.

"Just… Nightmares. Nothing particular and I don't really want to talk about them… To be honest, I'm not even sure if they have anything to do with this at all. It's only _today_ that I... that I have been…

_Shut up already! You pathetic little liar! They don't want to hear your story! Shut up! SHUT UP! Choke yourself! Do it! Don't let them make you tell!_

"What's with today? What happened?" Carla asked.

_Don't answer that! DON'T YOU DARE ANSWER THAT!_

"… I've been kinda… seeing things that's not there." JD finally answered, looking almost terrified. "And hearing things..."

There was a little pause. JD glanced at the others with a worried expression and he seemed surprised to see that all his friends were observing him with great concern, anxiety, and even compassion.

"What kind of things?" Turk asked to break the silence.

"Well, for example, I've had some really... uncomfortable daydreams today." JD continued. "As you noticed just a few minutes ago, I've been trying to avoid zoning out so that I won't have to experience them."

"Is that even possible for you...? Elliot asked in disbelief and got an agreeing nod from Turk.

"Well, it wasn't _easy._" JD admitted with a little smug smile. "But I'm getting a hang of it now. Anyway…"

JD's smile suddenly faded away and he hesitated slightly before he continued.

"… Everytime I fantasize about something, or "go away" into a daydream... I end up in some kind of dark, twisted hallucination instead… And then I… I can't get out of it.

JD made a short pause.

"This probably sounds nuts to you guys, but my daydreams _never_ make me feel this bad, or this... _awful_, as those did. And normally, I can always leave them whenever I want. But these were different… It was like they weren't mine… Or… I don't know how to explain this… In any case, this totally freaked me out…! It made me feel sick and terrible and... I couldn't tell what was real or not...!

JD's voice cracked and he pulled up his knees and hid his face in them while folding his arms around.

"Bambi…" Carla said with a low and soothing voice. "Why didn't you tell us all this from the start…?"

"I… I don't know…" JD answered with a thick voice and looked up slightly. "I _wanted_ to tell you… I know that I wanted to tell you... but something didn't…. Or I guess it must have been me… I mean, who else would it be?

JD laughed a bit nervously but stopped almost immediately.

"… It was like something wouldn't let me. That kept telling me… That you wouldn't care. That I shouldn't bother you guys, and that I should end it all for everybody's sake… Nobody would miss me, and you would probably be better off without me...

"JD, how could you even _think_ about something like that?" Elliot asked shocked and upset.

"I don't know…" JD answered again with a kind of sobbing laugh. "I seriously don't… I guess that I'm just a pathetic little liar, huh…?"

Before JD had fully finished the sentence, Elliot had immediately sat down on his bed, and threw her arms around him in a heartbreaking hug. Carla followed her example and left her chair for a place on the bed too, and folded her arms around JD's shoulders in a warm embrace. Turk sat down on the other side of the bed and put his arm around JD's neck and shoulder in a buddy-like gesture, nudging JD's hair in a comforting way.

JD looked utterly shocked over all this sudden touching and hugging, but then relaxed slightly and closed his eyes. Elliot sobbed a little and everyone just kept on hugging each other for what felt like an eternity.

"For God's sake… This is not a god damn petting zoo!"

Everyone looked up and saw Dr Cox, the man with no respect for tender moments, lean against the doorway and observed them with an irritated expression.

Carla quickly sat down on the chair next to the bed. Elliot got up and stood by the bed's left side, trying to look casual. Turk's timing was a bit off and he accidentally rolled over the bed's edge and hit the floor with a loud "thud", but immediately got up on his feet and leaned towards the wall in a "cool" way. JD crossed his legs while putting his arms behind his neck in a relaxing pose. Very similar to a person who is lying on the beach on a sunny day, but which looked just plain weird in a hospital bed.

Cox let out a growling sigh and walked into the room, which was obviously crowded with idiots. He stopped one or two meters away from the bed and put his hands in his pockets, still looking serious.

"I've talked to Kelso."

Everyone glanced at each other and JD made a funny expression.

_What can he possibly have talked with Kelso about? __They're like mortal enemies__!_

"Talked about what...?" JD asked carefully.

"You." Cox answered with a severe look at JD.

"Oh..."

_Why do I have a bad feeling about where this is heading...?_

"I've just told Kelso about your, to put it simple, _strange_ behavior today." Cox continued.

"You mean at the morgue...?" JD asked hesitantly.

"That too. And your attempt to take of to Neverland on the hospital's roof." Cox added indifferently. "And your sudden irrational hatred for the restroom mirrors..."

JD looked up in surprise at the last sentence.

"W... What do you mean...?"

"Newbie, do you remember exactly _how_ you hurt that hand?" Cox asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Do _you _know...?" JD asked hesitantly.

"Janitor told me."

"Oh."

JD gloomily looked down, reminding quite a lot of Ted, and seemed to consider trying to just disappear through thin air.

"And considering your fan club's surprised faces, I guess that you hadn't shared this to them either." Cox noticed, as the others looked pretty stunned over this new information.

JD shook his head in a confirming way.

"Ok, I'll leave that for you to decide whether you think that they need to know the details or not... Anyhow, Kelso and I have discussed this and I'm gonna go ahead and inform all of you what we've decided. I might also add that this decision is _not_ negotiable, so none of your opinions will matter whatsoever."

"Hey! What happened to democracy?" Turk asked.

"Democracy was once before, but is no more. Much like your hair, Gandhi." Cox answered indifferently.

"Will you stop mocking my husband and tell us what this is about already?" Carla asked in a casual voice.

"Fair enough." Cox answered. "Dorian. Focus here. I don't want to repeat myself."

_Dorian? Not Newbie? Not Janet? Not Sandy? Oh boy, this can't be good..._

"First of all, you are taking the rest of this week off."

_Oh. I guess it could have been worse. No, wait a second... That would mean... __Me. Alone. In the apartment on the second floor. With a lot of sharp objects in my surroundings... __I can't be alone. I don't dare to be alone__. __And not to be hard on Rowdy, but I doubt that he would be able to protect me from myself..._

"Um... I'm not trying to negotiate or give my opinion on anything, but... I think that I actually rather want to stay here..." JD asked carefully. "Around other people and such..."

"You'll be confined to your apartment, and that's it." Cox interrupted and then turned to Carla and the others. "And I dare to guess that he won't be alone there, will he?"

"Don't worry JD. We will split shifts." Turk assured his friend.

"Absolutely!" Elliot agreed. "We can make sure that there's always one person with you all the time."

"Thought so." Cox said. "Secondly; tomorrow at 13:30, you will be seeing a psychiatrist."

"What...?" JD said in disbelief.

_Ok, I guess I should have seen that one coming. But come on... A shrink? __I'm not really __that__ messed up. Am I...?_

"You heard me." Cox said. "Kelso got it worked out, and you have to be there right on time."

"I thought that all this was caused by drugs? Why do I have to visit a psychiatrist?"

"Until the test results are back, there's no way to tell for sure." Cox answered with a serious voice. "So Kelso wants you to get a psychological evaluation, just to be safe."

"I'm sorry, but do you really think that's necessary...?" JD asked in disbelief.

"You bet I think it's necessary!" Cox said angrily. "And for your knowledge, Kelso wanted to put you on suicide watch."

"_What_!" Turk, Carla, and Elliot yelled at the same time while JD just simply stared at Cox in slight shock.

"However, I convinced him to at least wait till _tomorrow_ and get the shrink's opinion first." Cox added a bit bitterly. "And I seriously doubt that your guardian angels here are gonna let you do something stupid until then. Like, taking a stroll on the roof, or put pointy metal things in power sockets, or mix sleeping pills and scotch with your morning cereals..."

"You've made your point now." Carla interrupted helpfully.

"Great. That means that I can go back to finish my shift." Cox said and glanced at his wrist watch. "Hopefully there might still be at least one patient alive that Doug Murphy hasn't managed to kill yet. Excuse me, ladies..."

Cox started to leave the room, but he stopped in the doorway.

"And by the way..." He added and turned to the others. "Usually, I couldn't care less about what Priscilla here might have told you while I was gone, and I would _ne-hever_ ever ask about it. However_,_ considering the circumstances, I'm afraid that I _have _to."

_Ok. It was hard enough to tell all this to the people that I consider my __friends__. But telling the same things to Dr Cox, who I respect as a doctor, and admire as a mentor... __But am pretty scared of as a human being...?  
I think I rather not..._

"In any case, I'm gonna make this very simple for both of us." Cox continued and looked straight into JD's eyes with folded arms. " … _Is_ there _anything_ else that you think that I should know about...?"

JD didn't answer immediately, and looked a bit puzzled at Cox's question.

_Does he mean... __Is he giving me a choice..?__ I can choose to lie and tell him nothing, __and he won't do anything about it?__ That's not really like him... But I must say that I appreciate that he won't try and force it out of me._

_Don't tell him!_

JD looked a bit stunned over his last thought and slightly shook his head to clear his mind.

_No! Don't listen to that voice. Not again. Never again! _

_Don't tell him!_

_Stop listening! Please don't listen to it...! __Ignore! IGNORE!_

_DON'T TELL HIM!_

JD looked up with a worried expression and glanced at the others.

"May... Maybe one of you guys could tell him?" JD asked and scratched his neck. "If that's ok with you..."

"No problem, Bambi." Carla said reassuringly.

"Fine with me." Cox said and then turned around and walked out the door.

As soon as Cox closed the door, the atmosphere was back to the warm and likeable character it had been before. The recent tension slowly changed into a lot more joyful mood, with Turk coming up with several suggestions on movies he thought that they definitely should watch while at home, Elliot joking about putting childproof lockers on everything in the apartment, and Carla scolding Turk for leaving the House in such a mess before he went to work.

JD laughed along with them, feeling unexpectedly happy for someone that's just revealed a deep dark secret and been ordered to visit a shrink the next morning.

_Well, that wasn't so bad. I'm feeling much better than before. No actually, I'm feeling great! Must be the first time today._

_I'm with my friends. Friends that I've told everything to, and that wants to protect me and help me. Actually, everything feels great! _

_It's like nothing possibly can go wrong now._

*******

**Author's note: **Last chapter? Everything seems to have worked out, right...? Ha! DON'T THINK SO! ;D Still a few more to come...  
I'm not sure how this chapter turned out... I can easily say that it has been the hardest one to write so far... T_T It's long. A lot of dialog from many different characters, etc. I think it might have turned out terrible... .

**Next time:** What could possible happen now when JD's friends have everything under control? Well, as long as they don't accidentally leave him alone... 0.0  
No Coxy next time. But don't worry. He'll be back, and you will see him guest starring in my favorite daydream so far. ;)


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's note:** Firstly, thank you 101spacemonkey for all your compliments. ^^ Always nice to see a new reader. :) The same goes with YinYangWhiteTiger, Depressed Chibi, CDC SWAC madness, vertigomunchkin, queenofmoonlight, Sidney James TD Lemon 1900, Sarcastic-And-Loving-It, Iyrsiiea, TheFanFicAddict, and NEVER said I made SENSE.  
Thank you everyone, new reader and old. Your coments means the world to me! (^_^)

I've also received a request (Thank you EliH2 for all your nice reviews so far!=D) to write a chapter from someone else's point of view. And preferable Cox's (understandable, since he's just plain awesome ;)). I just want to say that I would love to have a chapter from his POV! But I'm afraid that I can't... Mainly because of two things.  
Firstly: It's incredibly difficult to come up with his lines as it is. But to write his _thoughts_... I don't think I can handle his complex and twisted mind. ^^; I fear that if I try, it will end up terribly out of character and ruin everything... T^T  
Secondly: One part of me wants Cox's mind and thoughts to remain unknown, because that's just how he is. =)  
But I wont rule it out completely! As I said earlier, I would love to see Cox's POV on this, but it might be hard to fit in (since the next four chapters are already completed in my head).  
We'll have to see. :)

**Note: **I still don't own Scrubs. Or Harry Potter, for that matter.

**0o0o0o0o0**

Everyone was having a break in the cafeteria. It was long after lunch, so there were not many people around. Carla had simply chosen a salad while Elliot was sipping delightfully on a fruit smoothie. Turk had bought an enormous double sandwich with various kind of contents, of which he wasn't sure what even half of them were. To find out, he had began to operate on the sandwich, similar to a surgeon operating on a human body. JD had, in lack of interest, simply chosen the same as Turk and couldn't care less what his sandwich contained. He was devouring it hungrily like someone that hadn't eaten in days. In fact, he had only had a tiny bowl of cereals early that morning and no appetite after that.

"JD, if you keep on eating like that you'll eventually choke." Elliot pointed out and took another sip of her smoothie.

"Sworry..." JD answered between his bites. "'Ungry."

"Dude! Look at this!" Turk said and pointed at his sandwich. "If you put the mayonnaise here, and cheese here, this sandwich will look almost like Jesus!"

"What is that...?" Carla asked and narrowed here eyes at a certain part of the bread.

"That's tuna. It's supposed to be the beard." Turk informed her.

"Yeah... I see it now..." Carla said with the same voice as a kinder garden teacher that's looking at a drawing. "And you used the milk to do the background..."

"That's so disgusting." Elliot said.

"Hey! How do you know it's disgusting?" Turk asked smugly.

"Turk! It just is!" Elliot said and looked away in dislike when JD started to lend out some of his ham to make "Jesus's'" clothing more appropriate.

"When I finally get kids I will know exactly how it will be..." Carla said in a dreamy way.

"Yeah, probably..." Elliot interrupted and took a look at her watch. "They will make you be late to work too."

"What?" Carla said a bit confused.

"Our shift started five minutes ago." Elliot explained and quickly got up from her chair and tried to drink the rest of her smoothie all at once, but it was a little too much and made her cough violently and choke.

Carla took a last bite of her salad, gave Turk a kiss on the head and hurried away with Elliot.

"When does your shift start?" JD wondered and took another bite of his sandwich.

"Not today, bro!" Turk answered victoriously. "I switched with the Todd so I got the rest of the day off."

"And he agreed to it just like that...?" JD asked in disbelief.

"Well... He made me promise to give him a naked picture of Carla..." Turk said and scratched his neck.

"Are you going to?" JD asked and stared at him.

"Hell no!" Turk answered and pulled out a photo from his pocket. "I cut this picture out from a magazine and changed the skin color in photo shop. To make it look like Carla."

"Don't you think that he will notice that...?" JD asked and studied the picture carefully. "I know Todd has the IQ of a seagull, but still..."

"Dude, not a chance if I cut the head of." Turk stated and covered the naked girl's face with his hand. "Picture Carla's head there instead."

"That's amazing!" JD said impressed.

"I know!" Turk said excited and put the picture back in his pocket and got up from his chair. "Ok, I think we better leave now, or else Kelso will be all over us... "

"Yeah, you're probably right." JD admitted and got up on his feet with his tray and looked down at Turk's. "Um... Turk. What should we do with him...?"

Both JD and Turk stared at Jesus who was still lying very visible on Turk's sandwich.

"I dunno...?" Turk answered and looked down at their glory creation. "Throwing him in the garbage sounds kinda cruel, huh...?"

"We will burn in Hell, Turk." JD confirmed and looked down at Jesus too, who's face suddenly looked pleading and sad.

Turk and JD quickly looked around and then simply left the tray on the table and hurried away. They didn't slow down until they were safe out in the corridor.

"Ok, you go and pack you stuff." Turk told JD as they walked to the locker room. "I'm just gonna go and deliver this to Todd. So get ready and then just stay here till I get back. 'Kay?"

"_Stay here"... Isn't this the second time somebody asks me to do that today?_

"I'll meet you outside the locker rooms in five minutes." Turk continued. "And then I'll drive you home."

"Turk..." JD laughed. "I _think_ that I'm still able to drive a car."

"You sure...?" Turk asked in slight disbelief.

JD's brain made a quick flashback about today's events. Roof. Daydreams. Restroom. Mirror. Voices. Mailman. Hallucinations. Cell phone. Morgue...

JD looked a bit uncertain.

"You know what... Maybe you _should_ drive..."

-O-o-O-o-O-

JD was in the empty locker room, packing a backpack with some clothes and personal belongings. He had changed to his regular clothes, a gray hooded shirt and comfy jeans. He was currently busy with folding his scrubs.

_I'm actually feeling good! Surprisingly good. I can't believe that I didn't tell anyone about this earlier... __Owies!_

JD dropped his scrubs on the floor and gripped his right hand with a pained face.

… _Cause if I had told anyone, my right hand would still be __intact__. __Cox is right. It hurts like hell. _

JD's mind started to wander off.

_I wonder why I decided to keep all this to myself.__ I mean, that was just plain stupid!__ The more I think about it, the more idiotic it sounds._

JD picked up his scrubs from the floor and started fold them again.

_And I feel so much better now. I don't think I've felt this good the whole day!_

_I'm feeling strong! __My mind is sharp like a razor, and my head is clear as a whistle. Or something like that... __I feel invincible! __Now I understand how that black knight in Monty Python felt. If someone chopped of my arms and limbs right now, I would probably not even flinch!_

JD looked at his watch.

_Turk should be outside any minute now. Ah, It will feel good to come home, but I still can't help but think that I would have preferred to stay here instead.__ I dunno, but this hospital feels almost more like home than my own apartment._

_I__t's actually a little bit like Harry Potter.__ He rather stays at Hogwarts at the holidays instead of going home to the horrible Dursley family. __Not__ implying that Turk and Carla starve me at home... __But __I think there __ARE some similarities with my life and Harry Potter's... _

JD spaced out and pictured him and Turk in Hogwarts robes. They were walking in the castle's corridor, talking. JD was wearing a pair of round glasses and Turk had a stuffed rat on his shoulder.

"Dude, you won't _believe_ what I heard today!" Turk said in an excited voice. "During a transfiguration class yesterday, a class of fourth graders were supposed to transform hamsters into doorknobs, and one guy accidentally turned his hamster poisonous!"

"How can a hamster become poisonous?" JD asked in bewilderment.

"I dunno." Turk said and shrugged, making the rat on his right shoulder to wobble dangerously. "He said something about it scurrying around, dripping acid all over the floor... It took over an hour to catch it, since it for some reason was resistant to most of the magic spells the teacher tried..."

"I would like to have a poisonous hamster..." JD said in a dreamy voice.

"Guys! Wait up!"

Elliot came running through the corridor with almost a dozen of books in her arms. She dropped two of them, stopped to pick them up and then dropped another one. She tried to pick up that one instead which resulted in her almost tripping on the two first books. Turk and JD stopped and sighed at her while she quickly scoped up all the dropped books at once in her arms.

"Hermione, we can't stop and wait for you every tenth meter just because you have to drop all of your homework along the way." JD said.

"It's not my fault!" Elliot said stressed and tried to staple the books better to prevent them from falling so easily.

"Well, stop carrying around so many of them then. It's not like you'll need every single one of them right now."

"Yes I do!" Elliot stated and walked up beside them. "I wish that I could glue these together or something..."

"Why don't you just use magic?" JD simply suggested. "We are wizards remember? Come on Hermione, are you really supposed to be the cleverest student in our grade?

"Hey, Harry!"

Doug Murphy waved frenetically to them and ran up beside JD. "Can you borrow me a rat...? We are supposed to bring the ones we used yesterday in transfiguration class, but I accidentally killed mine..."

"No Neville!" JD answered annoyed. "This is the third time you're asking me to lend you my stuff. You'll have to solve this by your own."

"Oh..." Doug said disappointed and then turned to Turk. "Well, what about you Ron...?"

Turk took a quick step back, holding a protective hand over the stuffed rat Scabbers, and shook his head frenetically.

"You can't have Ron's either." JD explained.

"Oh, bummer..." Doug said miserably and walked away.

"I sure don't envy that guy." Turk said.

"These glasses are annoying..." JD mumbled and took them off to take a closer look at them.

A sharp whistle was suddenly heard through the corridor.

"Oi there, Harriet!"

Everyone turned around and saw Dr Cox walk towards them. He was wearing completely black robes and his wand was visibly peeking up from one of his pockets. He stopped by them with his attention directed towards JD who looked a bit confused.

"I've just corrected your latest potion test." Cox explained with a not very pleased face. "And I got to tell ya, that it was so god damn awful that actually _showing_ it to a troll would probably make it want to kill itself. Now, if you _do_ have a good reason for this obvious lack of brain cells, I'll give you five seconds to explain it _now_."

Cox picked up an hourglass and turned it over while looking gravely at JD and Turk.

"Actually, professor Snape, I _was_ going to study for that test _yesterday_, but Ron and I found this amazing mysterious looking tunnel behind the three legged witch statue, so we decided to see where it ended."

"And...?" Cox asked with a raised eyebrow.

"After nine hours of crawling, we landed in professor McGonagall's bedroom, got one month detention, and since it was past midnight the fat lady refused to let us in to the common room. Which, ironically, was the place where we had left our textbooks."

"Wow, Sabrina." Cox said with pretend amazement. "That was quite some story you had there."

JD looked like if Cox just had given him a compliment and grinned at Turk, while Elliot just sighed tiredly.

"Listen here, Wendy." Cox said threateningly. "I don't expect much from you. Actually, seeing you being able to manage the simplest spells still makes me wanna scream "Holly golly! Miracles DO exist". But I AM expecting you to either show me that you learn something from my classes, or don't bother to show up at them at all. Cause then I'll turn you into the little inferior insect you are, crush you, and then use you in my potions. I have the permission to do that, right Dumbledore?"

Kelso suddenly stopped by, dressed in a purple rob with golden moons and planets, a tall wizard hat in the same color, and a long white beard.

"I couldn't care less." Kelso answered grumpy.

"You don't really act like Dumbledore..." JD kindly pointed out.

"That's because I'm not gay." Kelso answered and walked away.

"Anyway, to be honest with you professor Snape." JD said with dignity and turned to Cox. "I don't have time for this. Ron and I are going to the lake to get the ten armed giant squid to eat Malfoy's boxer shorts. Um... don't ask how we got them... But we are on our way there, so I'm sorry, _sir,_ but... UFF!"

As JD just turned around to walk away, he tripped on something and fell headlong to the floor. When he looked up, he saw the Janitor standing over him. He was dressed in brown and greyish cloths, and was studying JD while holding a mop, which he apparently just had used to make him fall.

Turk quickly helped JD up while Cox gave the Janitor an interested look.

"Oh great, it's Mr Filch..." Turk sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Ouchies..." JD breathed.

"I pay you ten galleons if you do that to him daily." Cox offered the Janitor.

"Twelve and I'll poison his food too." The Janitor suggested.

"Done." Cox said and they both shook hands.

"This is such waste of time..." Elliot sighed and started to walk away, but then she suddenly screamed and a big pile of feathers fell from above and landed with a loud bang in front of them.

"Why meeee..." Ted's voice was heard from the depths in the bird heap.

Turk and JD helped him up on his feet. He was dressed in some kind of bird costume, with a beak and the ugly glasses from before.

"Ted! What are you doing here?" JD asked surprised.

"Apparently I'm an owl..." Ted muttered and picked up something from under his left wing. "And this is to Mr Ron Weasley..."

"Really?" Turk said surprised and Ted handed him a bright red letter. As soon Turk realized what it was, his eyes stared at it in pure horror.

"Woow..." JD breathed, partly impressed and partly terrified. "You got a _howler..."_

"I _know_ what it is!" Turk said angrily, and watched the letter in terror as it began to smoke and glow.

"Quick! Pour water over it!" JD yelled to no one in particular.

"This is frickin magic, dude!" Turk yelled at him in panic. "Do you seriously think that pouring water over it will work!?"

"This is gonna be fun." Cox said in a jolly voice, and leaned against a wall with a big grin.

"Throw it away then?" JD suggested.

"Not gonna work!" Turk stated, and looked more and more frightened as the letter started to catch fire.

"Just open it already, will you?" Elliot said. "Get it over with."

The letter suddenly exploded and raised to the air, still burning, and started to talk in Carla's voice.

"Ron Weasley!" Carla's voice screamed furiously. "How dare you to leave the house in such a mess before you went away!? I had to spend the whole morning cleaning it before the guests arrived! It's time for you to take some responsibility at home, young man! Next time, I'll make you pay dearly for this! Mark my words!"

The letter suddenly turned to JD and continued, in a much softer voice.

"And I don't blame you Bambi. Please take care; I'll give you something nice for Christmas."

The letter crumbled into a small ball of burnt paper and fell to the floor.

"My mom likes you." Turk explained.

"Yeah, I know." JD simply confirmed. "I wonder if it is my charming personality. Or because of my troubled past with constant abuse and mistreating from my aunt and uncle, and the daily bullying from my fat cousin Dudley. Maybe that's what makes me so appealing to women? It could of course also be the fact that I'm more or less a hero since I _AM_ the one who made lord Voldemort disappear. And of course, I don't think I need to mention that chicks dig guys with scars...

"Oh for the love of Merlin...!" Cox groaned and picked up his wand and pointed it at JD. "Silencio!"

The wand send out a small flash that hit JD in the chest, making him take one step back in surprise. He looked at Cox in shock and tried to say something, but none of his words could be heard.

"Wow, this is _useful_!" Cox smiled at his wand while JD was talking hysterically, trying to make people understand what he was saying.

"Don't worry, man." Turk said reassuringly. "I'll fix this. Just give me one second..."

JD seemed to panic even more and shook his head violently while waving his arms in protest, and then started to point repeatedly at Elliot.

"You want Hermione to fix it?" Turk asked uncertainly and JD nodded anxiously.

"Ok, sure." Elliot said and walked towards Turk. "Here, hold these for me..."

Elliot dumped all her textbooks in Turk's arms, which almost made him fall to the ground because of the sudden weight. She turned to JD, picked up her wand, and took a deep breath. JD shouted something impatiently and Elliot looked confused.

"He says "hurry up"." Turk translated with a strained voice.

"Alright! Alright!" Elliot yelled back. "Don't rush me!"

"Hermione...!" Turk panted with a weak voice from all the heavy books.

"Calm down!" Elliot yelled. "I'm trying my best!"

JD began to jump up and down in frustration, screaming something and Turk started to chant "hurryuphurryuphurryup..." making Elliot almost throw her wand at JD's direction in panic.

"FRICK!" She shouted and pointed it at JD who froze immediately when a small yellow flash from Elliot's wand hit him. He stumbled backwards and looked up terrified.

"Hermione! What the hell?" He yelled frustrated.

"Dude! It worked!" Turk said impressed.

JD prodded his face, like if he was making sure that his nose didn't disappear in the process, or that his eyebrows are still intact.

"Wow, thanks Hermione!" JD said happily.

"No problem!" Elliot answered, looking incredibly proud of herself.

"May I interrupt you girls for one moment...?" Cox wondered and points at JD. "You, Glinda, are gonna have to take that potion test one more time tomorrow morning. I would suggest that you skip to wherever you currently happen to keep your books and start studying for it, unless you want me to turn you into a hamster and offer you to the fourth graders transfiguration classes."

"I'm on my way, professor Snape." JD said reassuringly. "I probably left my books in..."

As JD turned around, a locker suddenly stood right before him.

"… in my locker..." JD said with a low voice and eyed the object suspiciously. "That's... That's my locker. My real locker. But what is it doing here...?"

JD turn around to the others who all looked at him with blank faces and didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary at all. JD looked fairly confused and turned to the locker again.

"This is not supposed to be here..." JD continued and took a step closer. "Harry Potter doesn't have a locker... Especially not _my_ locker... What's going on...? What is this? I... I don't..."

JD walked around it and then stopped in front of the door with a confused look. He placed his hand on the handle, feeling fairly uneasy over whole situation. JD braced himself and then pulled down the handle.

The door flew open and a stream of thick blood poured out. JD got completely soaked in the red liquid. Suddenly, he was back in the locker room.

When he turned around, the other lockers around him burst open too and floods of red sticky blood welled out from every one of them. JD stared at the scene in terror. He took several steps back and hit a wall. He closed his eyes tightly.

_This isn't real. This isn't happening. This. Isn't. REAL!_

When he looked up again, the whole room was covered in blood. There was so much blood on the floor that it completely soaked his shoes. JD started to tremble and looked around.

_This is wrong... Why is this happening...! __What__ is happening?!_

JD sunk down to the floor. He pulled up his knees to his chin and hid his face while folding his arms around it. A bit similar to a scared child.

_Where's Turk...? He should have been here by now. I really need him right now. I need someone... Anyone._

_But Turk left you, remember?_

JD began to tremble even more.

_He didn't leave me. He told me to wait for him here...!_

_But he didn't come back. It was just a trick to get rid of you._

_Turk would never do that!_

_But he's not here, is he? He left you. He doesn't want to be near you._

… _Stop it. Please stop this..._

_He hates you. Carla and Elliot left you too. They don't want to be near you. They hurried away from you in the cafeteria. They all **hate** you._

… _No, wait... It's not like that!_

_No one wants you. You're worthless. A worthless, pathetic, little liar that nobody cares about._

JD let out a sob and looked up a little. A kind of reddish darkness was spreading in the room. The roof was almost completely covered in it and it was now climbing down the walls, getting closer and closer to the door.

JD quickly got up on his feet.

"I have to get out from here." JD said with a voice close to panic.

_That darkness... I think it's trying to trap me here! __That's what they wanted all along! __They wanted to keep me here so that it would catch me! __Damn, my head hurts...__What am I doing...? I need to leave. And need to escape! I need to get __away__ from this!!!_

JD rushed out from the locker room. He kept running through the corridor like if something was hunting him. He suddenly stopped, looking confused.

_What am I doing? God, I can't think straight... __Ow, my head hurts... What the heck have I done to it?_

"Dr Dorian...?"

JD looked up, panting. A young woman was standing in front of him and looked at him with a worried face.

_Oh. An intern. I think I recognize her. I'm supposed to know her name... __Cox has called me it, that's for sure... _

"Are you alright?" The intern asked.

_Alright...? No, I'm not... __I'm quite sure that I'm NOT alright. I just don't known exactly what's wrong with me. __God, all these voices... How did I get here...? Damn, I don't feel so good..._

_I'm feeling trapped. I can't get out... I CAN'T GET OUT! _

JD ran passed the confused intern and dashed through the corridor until he reached the hospital's entrance. He stopped a few meters away from it, panting.

_I really need to get out from here. It's safer outside. __They won't get me if I'm out there. I can hide. They'll never catch me... Never._

JD hurried out. He passed some people on his way out but ignored them. On the parking lot, he suddenly stopped and winced in pain.

_Ow, my __head__...__It's like something is hitting it with a hammer. Ok, the further away from this place, the better. Weird colors... My head feels crowded... This __is__ my head right..? I can't concentrate. Nothing makes sense anymore... _

JD hurried away in a random direction with only one clear thought in his mind. To get as far away from The Sacred Heart as possible.

**0o0o0o0o0**

**Author's note: **I guess that if you hate Harry Potter, this chapter must be the worst so far. XD I like the books, and just thought it could be fun to mix Sacred Heart with Hogwarts.  
The tricky, and yet fun part, was to set the roles. It was hard to decide which one to play Voldemort, Dumbledore, and Snape. Cox could fit as any of them, but I think that Snape was the best choice. ;) Kelso could play either Voldemort or Dumbledore, but ended up with the latter mostly due to that gay-joke (I'm really sorry if it offended anyone. JD's head isn't very clear at the moment...). It was also hard to decide if Carla should play Hermione or Mrs Weasley, but I felt that Elliot had to be Hermione, so I didn't have much choice there. ^^;  
What are your thoughts about it? I'm curious. :D

**Next time:** A shorter chapter. How will the others react when they find out that poor Bambi is gone...?  
We'll meet Carla, Elliot, Turk... And even The Janitor will pay a quick visit. Hm. 0-o


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's note:** Ok, this is a kinda short chapter, and I really don't have much to say about it. But I guess I could take the opportunity to say hi and thank another new reader, Mrs-N-Uzumaki. Thank you for your review. ^^

**Note:** I don't own Scrubs. But if you're still planning to sue me for copyright infringement, then you better check what that word actually _means_.  
If you want to sue me because I borrow characters from a super popular TV show to use them in a completely made up story which I don't earn a cent by writing... Hm. You know what, I don't think that's possible. =D

**0o0o0o0o0**

Turk was once again running through the corridors in the hospital. He stopped at every room, took a quick peek inside, cursed when he didn't find anything, and then took up the search again.

He suddenly bumped into Elliot, who looked like she had been running a marathon.

"Did you find him yet?" She panted.

"No..." Turk wheezed as answer.

"Have you checked the supply closets?" Elliot asked. "The patient's rooms, the cleaning cupboards..."

"Yes! I've checked everywhere!" Turk answered angrily. "I'm telling ya, he's not on this floor! I've searched every possible hiding place that exists here! How about you?"

"Nothing..." Elliot said miserably.

Carla came running around the corner towards them.

"He's not on the roof." She informed.

"I guess we should consider that a good thing." Turk sighed.

"Yeah... But it also means that we still don't know where he is..." Carla said worriedly, but then gave Turk an angry look. "Turk! You were supposed to watch him!"

"It isn't my fault!" Turk said defensively. "I told him to wait for me and that I would be back in five minutes. And I promise you, he was acting just like normal when I left."

"_Were_ you back in five minutes...?" Carla asked, hands on hips.

"I... Ok, Todd kept me a little longer than that, but I can't have been gone for more than ten or twelve minutes!"

"Why on earth were you talking to Todd?" Carla asked with a raised eye brow. "I thought that you were just gonna pick up JD's stuff and then drive him home?"

"Um..." Turk hesitated. "You know... Just... Guy stuff."

"I don't believe this...!" Carla sighed frustrated.

"Well..." Elliot interfered, to prevent a married couple fight. "I checked the parking lot, and his scooter is still there. That means that he must be somewhere in the hospital. Right?"

"Yeah, and his backpack with all his stuff were still in the locker room." Turk informed. "We just have to keep looking."

"What about Dr Cox?" Elliot asked. "Have anyone told him about this yet...?"

"His shift ended half an hour ago." Carla said. "He's probably home already."

"Should we call him?" Turk asked.

"No, I don't think so." Carla figured. "I mean, what good would that do? It's not like we can drag his butt back here just to help us look for JD."

"Yeah, you're right..." Turk admitted. "And come on. If JD's still here, we will find him soon anyway. Ok, let's get back to business!"

"If we only could have a look at the security tapes..." Elliot sighed. "Some of the cameras here must have caught him, right?"

"I know but..." Carla began but was cut off by the Janitor who suddenly popped up behind her, making her jump in surprise.

"I think that I can be at service." The Janitor stated with dignity.

"What do you mean?" Turk asked in disbelief.

The Janitor then held up something that was suspiciously similar to a video tape. The others stared at it in a mix of confusion and curiosity.

"From the security room?" Carla asked suspiciously.

"I'm supposed to clean in there anyway..." The Janitor said and shrugged.

"Did you?" Carla asked with a smile.

"Nah." The Janitor answered and looked away indifferently.

"So you stole a security tape instead?" Turk asked chilly.

"Thank you, Janitor." Carla said with warmth and took the tape. "Did you take it to help us find out where...-"

"No! No, nothing like that..." The Janitor cut her off, looking very uncomfortable. "I... I just wanted to _steal_ something. Taking a little souvenir, you know. And it happened to be that tape. Now excuse me, but I'm... Gonna clean some floors.

The Janitor walked away from them and Turk looked at Carla in shock, like if he'd just seen Santa.

"The Janitor can be NICE...?" Turk said surprised.

"Apparently..." Carla said and her eyes kept following him as he left. "Or maybe he felt bad for locking in JD in the morgue earlier..."

She looked at the others who simply stared at her like if she just had stated that Jesus is black. Carla quickly handed the tape to Turk.

"Ok, let's put this thing in a VCR." She commanded.

As they arrived to the doctors' lounge, Turk inserted the tape in the video player and they fast forward to the time when JD must have disappeared.

"This is a tape from a camera near the entrance. Do you really think he went out?" Elliot asked while concentrating on the moving pictures.

"Dunno." Turk shrugged. "Maybe the Janitor just nicked a tape, like he said. JD might not be on this one at all..."

"Wait! Pause!" Carla yelled and pointed at the TV.

Everyone leaned a bit closer to the screen.

JD was standing a few meters from the entrance. He seemed confused, and looked around nervously. Eventually, he walked out, right through a bunch of people that was just about to go in. And in the next second, he was gone.

The others stared at the frozen picture in shock.

"He went out." Elliot said with a low voice. "He went outside..."

"Carla, he passed the nurse station!" Turk said with a gesture to the TV. "Didn't you notice him!?"

"I've been busy the whole day!" Carla yelled back. "People are passing through those doors all day long. I got more important things to do than to check who they are!"

"Stop fighting you two!" Elliot screamed, making both Carla and Turk wince. "The important thing here is that he's not in this hospital. He's _out there_!"

Elliot pointed at the window with a worried face, and Turk looked almost scared.

"That means... That he can be anywhere by now." Carla stated with a stiff voice. "Anywhere in the city."

Turk immediately got to his feet.

"I'll check if he's at home!" He said and ran to the door.

"Then what are we supposed to do!" Elliot yelled in panic.

"Your shifts aren't over yet!" Turk yelled back. "I call you in half an hour, and if I haven't found him by then, you two better call the cops."

Turk left them both while Elliot and Carla looked worriedly at each other.

**0o0o0o0o0**

**Next time:** We'll only meet JD (and his crazy mind) in the next chapter. Where did he go? Is he allright? Is he even ALIVE...? Wherever he is, I don't think that those voices in his head makes a very good company... 0.0


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's note:** I didn't realize how short this chapter was. It took much longer time to write than the last one... ^^; It was a bit difficult. I hope that it will turn out ok. Ó-ò

And my sister pointed out, after reading chapter eleven, that a person usually must have been missing for at least 36 hours before the police can do anything. As I've mentioned earlier, I'm not always very good at looking up facts before writing down something... But in this case, I'd like to think that JD's a bit special. He's a danger to himself and has a messed up mind that's trying to kill him! People like that should probably not run around by themselves. And in any other case, if the cops would refuse, Carla can be very convincing. ;)

**Note:** I don't own Scrubs. But I do own a receipt for a delicious chocolate cake, and it's all mine! :D (I might consider a trade though...:))

**0o0o0o0o0**

It was raining.

Cars drove on the soaked roads and splashed water over innocent people on the sidewalks.

JD was standing in a gloomy alley between two grayish buildings. He was completely soaked from the rain, and he seemed to be extremely tired. He was leaning against a wall with his eyes closed.

_I don't know what's real anymore... My head... It feels like it's been in a vacuum cleaner with sprinkles... Fuzzy and confusing. __It's not obeying me. __Even Rowdy is more trained... God, __**why**__ am I feeling so confused...?_

JD looked up weakly and turned his eyes to the sky with a curious frown.

_It's dark outside... I wonder if it's night? Oh. It's raining. When did it start to rain? My clothes are wet... It's like I've been swimming in them. Huh. Who knows. Maybe I have?_

JD leaned his head back towards the wall, but flinched in pain and took a step away from it.

_Ow, my head...! What was that? I know that I have a headache, but what was that just now?_

JD rubbed the back of his head to make the pain go away. When he looked at his hand, he noticed that it was stained with blood.

He raised an eyebrow in surprise.

_Well, that was unexpected. __When did I get that? Oh, great... I guess it's something else to add to my increasing list of injuries __caused by myself..._

JD sighed and sunk down on an up side down box.

_I wonder what time it is? I haven't checked how long it has been since I left the hospital... _

JD took a look at his wristwatch, but frowned when he saw it. The glass over the clock face was shattered and the clock hands wasn't moving at all.

"Strange. When did that happen?" JD said with a slightly surprised look on his face.

_Looks like I've banged it against something hard. That's weird... Well, I guess I have to manage without it. And even if I knew what time it was, I'm not really sure what __day__ it is anyway... It could still be Monday, or maybe even Sunday? I don't know. I really don't know... And that actually scares me a little..._

JD exhaled and put his head in his hands, looking tired.

_I don't care anymore._

He looked down at his hands again and watched the raindrops fall down, soaking them. He closed his eyes and let out another reluctant sigh.

_Maybe I should just... Give up. Let everything go. I'm sick and tired of all this... _

_Yeah, seriously? Why not end it? End it right here, right now. No more headaches. No more confusing thoughts. No more voices telling me to do stuff..._

_Ha. Isn't that ironic?_

He got up and walked to the sidewalk, looking at the cars that passed by. They were driving approximately 80 miles per hour and the rain and the dark probably made the driver's view rather poor. If some person suddenly stepped out on the road, the driver wouldn't get time to hit the breaks until it was to late...

JD stood at the edge of the sidewalk. He looked down at his feet. He then took one step... and held it. He kept holding his foot in the air without moving an inch. He looked almost bored.

_Just one step. Come on, __no biggie. __It'll soon be over._

JD kept standing like this for 30 seconds, like if he was expecting his foot to do something. He noticed the lights of a car closing in from the left. JD shut his eyes and made a deep inhale, like if he was going to dive. He then took one step forward...

But as soon as his foot touched the road he quickly jumped up on the sidewalk again, the passing car missed him with just a second. JD leaned towards a wall, panting in a mix of shock and fright.

_Couldn't do it, huh?_

JD shook his head, making pieces of his soaked hair whip his already wet face.

_I think I really AM loosing my mind..._

_I... I can't go on like this. I need some help. Before I kill myself. __Or give an innocent driver the trauma of his life..._

JD looked around.

_I don't know what to do. I should probably try and get back to the hospital..._

_No I... can't! I don't want to go back... It... It doesn't feel safe there. That thing in the locker room... I... I just can't. There have to be another option._

_Dan... __Maybe he can help me? I'll visit him and ask to crash there tonight. No, wait... How would I get to his place? Sasha is still on the hospital's parking lot and I'm __not__ going back there. Bus maybe? Yes! Bus would __work! Ok, I need some money...__Quick pocket check..__. __Nothing. No wallet... Ok no problem, I just call him then. I only need to talk to him...  
_… _No wait.  
__No cell phone either..._

JD sighed again and started to walk along the dark alley.

_I think my head starts to feel fuzzy again... That's never a good thing._

_I could always go back to my apartment. But the others will probably be there... And I don't want to meet them. I don't know why, I just... It doesn't feel good. I get the same feeling for them as when I'm thinking of going back the hospital... It's like they want to hurt me...? Why would they want to do that?_

_Because they hate you._

JD almost stumbled into a stone wall. He leaned towards it with both his hands placed upon its surface. He breathed rapidly.

_This... This... DAMN IT!_

JD tried to calm down and leaned his forehead against the cold stone.

He held this position and his breathing became less and less rapid. After a few minutes, he gave away a low sob.

_What should I do?_

_I don't know where I am. I don't know where I should go. I can't tell what's real and what's not. I can't trust my own thoughts..._

_What should I do..._

**0o0o0o0o0**

**Author's note:** As usual, I hope this chapter wasn't too disappointing... Since it was so short and such. Next one is a lot longer. =) And it's probably gonna take me a little more time to get done with... It's a very important chapter, and I really want it to turn out good. And hopefully, it will.

**Next time: **For once, I'm not gonna tell you. :) I believe that this time, it will be more interesting to not know. ^^ Please don't hate me...


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's note:** I just noticed that I must apologize for one thing. (Two actually, since I'm horribly late with the updates again... I'm so sorry!)  
Anyway, I have a very poor idea of what _time_ everything takes place in this story... ^^; I've been so busy coming up with dialogues and plots that I haven't paid attention to the clock at all. 0-o I tried to come up with a decent time schedule, but it was just fail. =( And I don't want to ruin the story with confusing schedules, so I'm gonna leave it as it is, and hope that it won't destroy everything... I'm so sorry guys. T_T

**Note:** I realized a long time ago that this "note" is completely unnecessary, but it's so fun to write! XD I don't own anything!! ^w^ And if anyone wants to sue me, you better find out where I live first... :D

**0o0o0o0o0**

Cox was lying on his sofa, watching a game on TV and drinking something that was most likely scotch. He followed the players on the screen with only a half interested look, which indicated that it was probably not a game with the Detroit Red Wings, or it was a re-run. Suddenly there was a light knock on the door.

Cox looked up and growled, fairly annoyed that he had to leave his comfy seat. He got up from the sofa to answer the door and opened it indifferently, but frowned when he saw JD standing outside in the hall.

JD was completely soaked from the rain, and his dripping clothes had left a small puddle of water on the floor, where he apparently must have been standing for some time before he actually decided knock.

Cox gave him a surprised look and JD simply stared at the floor with his arms hanging loosely on each side.

"Newbie?" Cox said in disbelief, like if someone was trying to play a trick on him. "What in the…?"

"… I didn't know where else to go..." JD answered meekly. "I'm really sorry if I'm bothering you..."

Cox didn't answer. He eyed JD carefully with a serious look. JD seemed nervous and tried his best to avoid any eye contact.

"S... Sorry... I should probably leave..." JD apologized and turned away to go.

Before JD got a chance to take another step, Cox grabbed his shoulder and jerked him inside. JD stumbled into Cox's apartment and Cox slammed the door shut behind them, still holding JD's shoulder in a firm grip.

He turned around and looked directly at JD who stared back at his mentor in a mix of shock and surprise.

"What the _hell_ are you doing here?" Cox asked..

"Sorry..." JD answered nervously and looked around. His eyes fell on the TV screen. "Oh, I didn't know that you were watching the game... I'm really sorry... If you just let go of my arm, I'll leave immediately..."

"That was not the question, Debra." Cox said seriously, still holding JD's shoulder in a tight grip. "I want to know what the _hell_ you are doing _outside_ your apartment, _alone_! Can you answer me that?"

JD looked a bit puzzled over the question and tried to remember something.

"… I don't know." He finally answered.

Cox sighed tiredly and finally let go of JD's arm. As he took a look at his protege, he noticed that the young doctor was shaking. Cox raised one eyebrow and his gaze fell on JD's completely soaked clothes that were still dripping water over the floor.

"Stay here, I'll be right back." Cox said and disappeared in to the bathroom.

JD's eyes followed Cox with a curious expression.

_How many times have I heard that today?__Three? Yep, I'm pretty sure that's at least the third time someone tells me to "stay here". And so far, I don't think anything__ good have happened afterward..._

JD gave away an involuntary shiver at this thought, but suddenly a big, white towel landed on his head. As JD pulled it off in surprise he saw Cox stand in front of him with his hands in his pockets.

"Try and dry yourself up. You look like a drowned rat..." Cox stated.

"Thanks..." JD answered and hesitantly tried to wipe of his hands. "… For the towel I mean."

"Yeah, yeah. Now, get inside." Cox ordered and nodded to the living room. "We are gonna have a little _talk_, you and me."

_Uh oh..._

Cox turned around to the kitchen.

"Leave your shoes and socks in the hallway." Cox added. "I am currently just _fine_ with the water level in here, so I don't need you to contribute anything to it."

JD did as he was told and peeled of his drenched sneakers and socks, and then used the towel to try and get as dry as possible. He was still trembling slightly while he nervously looked around in the apartment.

_I'm not sure why I chose to go __here of all places__. _

_I was scared, and this felt... Safe. For some reason... _

_And Cox is pissed, of course__. I think that might be my fault...? Yeah, probably... Maybe I should have waited till tomorrow? I wish I hadn't bothered him in the middle of a game..._

Cox was back and a faint smell of coffee was coming from the kitchen. He stopped by JD and watched him closely, like if he was guarding a prisoner.

JD shivered yet again.

"Where is Jordan and Jack...?" JD asked and looked around, noticing that the apartment was quite empty on people.

"Jack and Jordan are with Jordan's mother this weekend." Cox answered indifferently, eying JD suspiciously as JD shivered again.

"… Why is it so cold...?" JD mumbled to no one in particular and glanced at the surroundings.

"I believe that the main reason for _that_, Patricia, might be the fact that your clothes are wet as a dolphin trainer's." Cox stated, still looking gravely at JD and let out a frustrated sigh. Like if he wasn't sure if he should be angry or not. "For the love of God, Newbie...! If you have been out in this weather only dressed in that, we most definitely have a case of pneumonia on our hands... And in that case, the wisest decision would be to get you to the nearest hospital. "

"I'm just a little cold..." JD said with a low voice and shrugged.

"Ya think? Try _ice_ cold and your clothes are soaking wet." Cox corrected him seriously. "I got a load of questions for you, kid. But I'm gonna start with this one, and you better answer it honestly: Exactly how long have you been out?"

JD looked completely perplexed over the question.

"I... I'm not sure." JD answered, tilting his head and seemed to think about it closely. "... Actually, I have no idea."

JD started to laugh.

"Seriously, I mean it...!" JD said, clutching his stomach like if he just had told Cox a hilarious joke. "I... I have absolutely _no_ idea! It can have been one hour or twenty, I don't know! Ha, ha... Isn't that weird...?"

JD was now laughing hysterically. He didn't seem to be able to control himself, or know what he was laughing at. He just kept on laughing, in a very creepy and not very JD-like way... Cox didn't look the least amused over JD's behavior.

"_Newbie_!" He suddenly yelled.

Cox's outburst made JD immediately stop laughing and look at his mentor, uncertain of what exactly just happened. Cox made a sharp whistle to get his protege's attention and snapped his fingers, pointing at the couch.

"Sit." Cox ordered with a serious voice.

"But won't your couch get wet...?" JD asked carefully.

"_Sit_." Cox repeated, indicating that this wasn't anything to ask or argue about.

JD cautiously tiptoed towards the requested place and then slid down between two pillows, looking anxiously at his angry mentor. Cox remained a standing position and studied at JD. He folded his arms and touched his nose, which in Cox's case always was sign of great annoyance .

"Listen carefully, Janice." Cox said seriously. "Your behavior today has not only been alarming, but frankly dangerous! Hence, the reason why you're supposed to be _watched_ at all times! To make sure that you don't run away on your own and do something silly like... Oh I don't know? Throw yourself in front of train or jump off a bridge!"

JD shifted a little uncomfortable in the couch.

"But here's the thing, Sheila." Cox continued. "As long as you don't tell me what the _hell_ is going on inside that head of yours, I can't do a crap to help you! Do you understand?"

JD stared at the floor looking miserable. Cox put his hands in his pockets and let out a sigh. He walked over to the couch and sat down next to JD who briefly looked up at the sudden company.

"Come on Newbie." Cox says with a troubled expression. "I need to know what's going on here. I'm not gonna _command_ you to open up for me about this, as I'm sure you already know by now, I'm not that kind of a guy. But you got to at least tell me something."

"It's just..." JD answered hesitantly. "... I'm not really sure what to tell you... It's like a crowded bar and you don't know which hot chick to hit on first... You know..."

"All right. Then at least tell me this..." Cox said and looked straight into JD's eyes. "Why in the devil aren't you in your own apartment? I'm quite positive that I stated before I left that you are _confined_ there until further notice!

JD looked like he wished that Cox had asked him another question.

_Of course... He must think that I come directly from my apartment. He wouldn't be this calm if he knew the truth... Well, what am I supposed to answer anyway? __That I got scared? That I totally freaked out and almost killed myself? Yeah, great idea! Let's see here...: John Dorian. Ex doctor and now official member of the loony club._

_I've never thought that straight jackets looked good me... I remember when Turk and I tested one in high school for fun. I tried it first and two of the belts got stuck. T__urk had to borrow a bolt cutter from the old man next door, but he didn't want to lend it out at first because Turk was black and he thought that he would steel it. I think I had severe claustrophobia for over six months after that..._

"NEWBIE!"

JD jumped at this and stared at his mentor in shock. Cox snapped a finger in front of his face to get some attention.

"Hey! Pay attention." Cox said warningly. "I don't want to repeat the question twenty times before you get around to answer it."

"Sorry..." JD mumbled.

"So." Cox continued. "Do you mind telling me why you left your apartment and came here instead?"

"I didn't leave my apartment." JD answered. "I never went there to begin with..."

Cox stared at JD, who seemed almost amazed over the fact that he had actually managed to answer one of Cox's questions.

"… You are kidding me, right?" Cox asked with a voice mixed between threat and begging.

"Are you gonna yell at me if I'm not...?" JD asked carefully.

"For the love of GOD, Newbie!" Cox yelled and ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "How in the name of...! Are the others even aware of that you're here?"

"I don't know." JD answered honestly and shrugged.

"_When_ exactly did you leave the hospital?" Cox asked seriously.

"What time is it?" JD asked and looked around for a watch.

"It's after midnight." Cox answered, still observing JD. "Do you know what time it was when you left?"

"No..." JD admitted. "I just thought that a watch would help me remember."

Cox growled and leaned his head in his hands, probably wondering why things couldn't be just simple. JD didn't now what to say and simply sat quietly and resumed the task to dry himself up. After a minute, Cox looked up again, clenching his jaw in an obvious sign of suppressed anger.

"Ok, this is obviously not going anywhere..." Cox stated.

JD didn't answer and tried to wipe his hair dry with the towel.

"Coffee's probably ready..." Cox mumbled and took a quick look at his wrist watch. "Wait here. I'm gonna go and..."

"Ouch..." JD suddenly exhaled.

Cox frowned and gave him a questioning look. JD had suddenly flinched in pain when he touched the back of his head with the towel. JD looked down at it and saw a distinct spot of something red against the white.

He looked at it in surprise, not sure how it got there. But Cox immediately got to his feet and was at JD's side in an instant.

"Where did it hurt?" Cox demanded to know.

"The back of my head." JD answered a bit confused, staring at the blood on the towel.

Cox walked behind him and carefully probed the spot, while JD tried to look what he was doing without turning his head, which looked quite comical.

"How did you get this wound?" Cox asked agitated as he examined the wound. "No wait, don't say it… _You don't know. _Am I right?"

_I think I remember the wound... I saw it earlier, before I came here. B__ut... I don't know exactly how I got it... __Maybe I got mugged? I haven't checked my wallet, have I? Oh, wait... It's still in the hospital. And that was why I couldn't take the bus...__ Wow, my memory is really showing off right now._

"Anyway, it looks like quite some nasty bruise..." Cox muttered. "You must have been hit by something."

Cox cursed.

"Is it bad?" JD asked and was still trying to take a look at it, which of course was pointless.

"Not bad enough to require any stitches..." Cox answered. "Now, isn't _that_ something new? Breaking the habit are we?"

"Very funny..." JD said a bit annoyed.

Cox didn't reply, but seemed to suddenly more serious than before.

"This wound needs to be cleaned..." He explained and left for the bathroom, but quickly returned with some antiseptic and cotton pad.

JD was completely quiet as Cox started to clean the wound. He flinched slightly now and then, but other than that he tried to sit as still as possible. After about 5 or 10 minutes Cox put away the pad and the antiseptic.

"There. All done." Cox exclaimed.

JD raised his hand and carefully touched the aching part of his head.

"Thanks." JD said. "_Again_, I guess."

"I'll send you a bill." Cox said indifferently. "Leave the wound alone, I'll put on some bandage soon. I just have to take care of something first...

Cox walk to the other end of the room. JD watched him with a confused look.

"What are you doing?" JD asked.

"I'm gonna call the others and tell them where you are." Cox said and picked up the phone. "And to be fair, I feel like an idiot for not doing it earlier..."

JD stared at Cox, horrified.

"What!?" JD yelled and got up on his feet. "Why? Why do you have to-"

"For god's sake!" Cox yelled in anger. "Do you have to _ask_?! Newbie, answer me this: You said that you never went to your apartment, am I right?"

"Yes...?" JD replied.

"And I assume that you left the hospital pretty soon after our chat? Cox asked very patiently.

"Yeah, I think so." JD answered.

"Did any of the others see you leave...?" Cox asked with a serious voice.

"I..." JD hesitated slightly. "I'm not sure. Maybe not..."

"Are you starting to see the whole picture now?" Cox said sarcastically. "Your buddies is most likely worrying themselves to _death_ about you in this very moment, and it wouldn't surprise me the slightest if they've already have called the cops!"

"I'm not a child!" JD said defensively. "I can take care of..."

"Yes, you're absolutely right! You're not a child!" Cox yelled. "You're a grown up person who is currently suffering from mental instability! And for their knowledge, you could just as well be skipping around in the park chasing squirrels _or_ hanging in a snare from a tree in the very same park! The point is, they have absolutely _no idea_ if you are dead or alive. So yes! I'm gonna call mommy and daddy and that neurotic big sister of yours, and tell them that: a) you're in fact alive, b) not fatally injured, and c) still in this town and state.

Cox pressed two number buttons, but before he got a chance to continue, JD threw himself towards it and pulled down the phone's cradle. Cox stared at him in surprise and growing anger. JD panted slightly and stared at Cox.

"You can't call them." JD said. "Not yet..."

"And why is that?" Cox asked and eyed the younger doctor suspiciously.

JD looked a bit confused, like if he wasn't certain of that himself. He couldn't describe why he so desperately wanted to keep away from the others. He shook his head to clear his mind.

"Just... Please, can't it wait? Maybe till tomorrow? Just not today... Not _now_."

Cox looked at JD in disbelief, still holding the phone in his right hand.

"Did I get this right?" Cox asked sarcastically. "You _don't_ want these people, who are probably searching through hell itself at the moment trying to find you, to know where you are?

JD didn't answer, but his silence pretty much confirmed Cox's assumption.

The older doctor growled irritated and put the phone down. JD sighed in relief, but flinched at Cox's sharp whistle.

"Come." Cox ordered and made a gesture to JD to follow him.

"Why...?" JD asked suspiciously.

Cox turned around and nodded to JD's clothes.

"Your clothes are soaked." Cox pointed out. "We're gonna find you some dry ones."

Cox walked in to the bedroom and pulled out a white shirt and some gray baggy pants from his wardrobe, and handed them over to JD. While JD got changed, Cox left him alone to get the coffee. The shirt was several sizes too big, but it was warm and comfy. When JD come back to the living room, Cox was sitting in the sofa with his legs on the table, watching the game again. There was two cups of hot coffee on it. The wet towel appeared to have been banished to the laundry.

JD slipped down in the other end of the sofa. He looked physically and mentally exhausted.

"Drink." Cox said, still watching the game. "I can only assume that you haven't eaten anything since lunch, but for your information I'm _not_ making you a sandwich. You'll have to manage with coffee."

"Coffee is fine." JD replied and took a sip.

"How are you feeling?" Cox asked and glanced over at him.

"Well, I'm not so cold anymore." JD answered and put down his cup to curl up in the corner of the couch. "You clothes are cozy."

"Don't get used to it, Bridget." Cox said warningly. "I have no intentions to lend you as much as a sock from my wardrobe in the nearest future."

JD didn't listen but snuggled into the corner like a kitten making itself at home. Cox made a disliking snarl but didn't say anything.

"I guess that asking you again why you came _here_ of every place, would be a complete waste of time, huh?" Cox asked with a raised eyebrow.

"… It felt safe..." JD mumbled.

"Hey, don't you fall asleep yet, pal." Cox said warningly. "I still need to patch up that head injury of yours, so..."

Unfortunately for Cox, JD wasn't listening anymore and had in a matter of seconds drifted away into deep sleep.

**0o0o0**

JD was dreaming.

At least he thought that he was dreaming. But it was a weird dream; there were no pictures or anything. Just a voice. Cox's voice...

"Calm down, Carla... Yes, he's all right. Nothing serious anyway, just a bruise on his head... (pause) No, I took care of it when he was asleep. Now be quiet and listen to me, why the HELL wasn't I told about this!? (pause) I don't _care_! You could at least have paged me! (pause) Anyway, he's safe now. Guess that we're lucky that he's still alive... Not thanks to Gandhi, though. (pause) I still don't care that he's your husband, Carla. He screwed up. And even though I don't believe in any God, I consider it a damn miracle that Newbie didn't get himself killed during this time. (longer pause) No, you don't have to come over here. I got this under control. You go and get some rest. Don't forget to call the police to stop searching. I call you back in a few hours.

A sound of someone hanging up the phone.

**0o0o0o0o0**

**Author's note:** And heeeree is the tricky part... I don't know what will happen after this... O_O I don't really have more chapters, cause I'm pretty stuck. XP I guess the whole story could end like this...? Maybe it was just some temporary glitch with JD's daydreams? It might go away after a few hours real sleep in a safe environment, and then everything goes back to normal.

Or I could try and give it a more proper ending. I have a faint idea, but not a really good one yet. If you have any suggestions or ideas, feel free to tell me about them. It might be very helpful for me. ^^

And a BIG thanks to everyone that has been reading this far! :D You mean the world to me. ^^


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